Proctor and Gamble have a new marketing angle for their sanitary pads - helping YOU to have a HAPPY PERIOD!
Apparently we need their advertising gurus to tell us it's ok to avoid the gym or to paint our toenails instead, one week in four. I guess they assume that all women need to religiously work out, but that painted nails are a mystery of feminity, aka bloody pointless. There, there girls, let the necessities slip and go do something vacuous instead; the men will understand. Awww.
It boils down to MEN* telling us, once again, what we are allowed to do and when we are allowed to do it, patting us on the head as if we need their direction to go to the loo. Let me tell you something, mate, if we needed permission for a toilet trip, we'd PROVE ourselves qualified to run the country.
Well ladies, they go on. Apparently its OK to burst into tears whenever and wherever during our periods, its OK to express upset. Gosh, really, daddy? Thank you!
So, when you are on your period and are feeling:
- kicked in the kidneys
- on fire from your belly button to your kneecaps
- stabbed in the gut
- close to tears because you refuse to murder the males who seem to ask for it constantly, in spite of the most enormous surge of aggressive adrenalin making your arms feel icy and your eyes glaze over,
Oops! I forgot, at the end of the advertising blurb, the dear souls suggest we treat ourselves to new high heels. Since its barely possible to walk upright even in flatties, mid cramp, can anyone think of another use for a good stilletto heel?
* On the basis that advertising executives are a sub-species, I am prepared to concede that this statement may be a little harsh on men in general. Sorry.