22 October 2005

Getting Married

The following was in an email sent to my husband. I did think about sending it quietly to Milt Bogs - given his wonderfully dry, funny blog, I imagine he could have woven it into the story over there very successfully.

Tough - I suspect he's been hiding since I named him as tagged, for the first kiss meme, so here it is, as it is, just an email going round.

A little advice to you young guys thinking about getting married.

Back in the 60s my girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year,and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me... it was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight skirts and short shorts, and generally walked around looking like a Hooter's waitress. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got a good show. It had to be deliberate, she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day the sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to have sex with me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

8 comments:

doris said...

LOL Lucky b*stard! :-)

zilla said...

Lucky family, too! I mean, where is the TRUST? Apparently where it should have been! Very complex account of deception here.

Cheryl said...

I agree - it does seem to take for granted a very peculiar social set-up.
I think I shall really enjoy the responses to this one.

doris said...

BTW - I love this photo of you and glad you have put it up at last :-)

ME Strauss said...

Yeah, I'm with Zilla. I would have been more than a little ticked if it really happened. But as a joke it's pretty funny.

Milt Bogs said...

Cheryl - I read all about you in that cupboard but I missed the fact that I was supposed to respond. You know how much I hate these tell the truth things. I'll see what I can do. As for the punch line in your current post. The guy is used to thinking on his feet. It's definitely proof that you can come out of an "I bottled it " situation with your street cred still intact.

Hell Cheryl I just noticed the new photo. It's going right up there on my wall. You have an extremely long lifline!

Cheryl said...

Aww Milt!
Not really miffed at you at all - but the concept did let me plug your blog.

You hate 'tell the truth' things? You mean Miss Roseberry isnt real?

:-D

ella m. said...

:D that just made a very unpleasant sort of day a bit less stressful. Thanks.