31 October 2005

Deer Teecher

Real parental excuse letters. Apparently.

"My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."

"Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."

"Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."

"Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating."

"Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip."

"John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face."

"Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part."

"Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins."

"Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side."

"Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels."

"Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak."

"Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust."

"Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault."

"Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday."

"Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral."

"My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines."

"Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well."

"Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps."

"Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover."

"Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor."

"Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever, and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night."


Anonymous said...

make a note of these they may come in handy

doris said...

None of mine in there I see! I've written enough of them in the past.

Last one was best :-)

jane said...

Oh my goodness! It's a wonder any of those kids attend school at all!

Milt Bogs said...

"There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night."
Terrific. Your photographic evidence is in the hands of my legal team!

mommyguilt said...

OMG! Those were too funny! I wonder how many were actually written by parents in a hurry on the way out the door, and how many were written by kids trying to get away with an absence! LOLOLOL ;-)

Le laquet said...

Lol!! the last one about Dad getting hot ~ classic! I had a child the week before last who arrived with a note mentioning the preious day's "tummy upset" and I asked him if he was better and he said "fine!" So I asked did you stay at home yesterday? He answered "no, we went to France to buy wine for the party tomorrow!" Gotcha!

fineartist said...

My daughter once wrote a note to her teacher that was supposed to be rom me. It said,

"Rae did not finish her homework this weekend. It was my FOLT."

She was in second grade. She had been having a difficult time managing her time and completing her work. Her teacher called me, she realized that I knew how to spell fault. When I arrived at the school shortly after the call my little girl met me at her school room door...with a smile on her little face. That was her mechanism for fending off tears.

She said, "I didn't commit forgery momma, I didn't sign your name." I hugged her, and told her we would work on time management, and getting things done, and that she didn't need to lie, or commit forgery to survive. Kids are stressed too, you know?

I'm with Doris, I especially loved the hot daddy. Heeeeeeeeeee.

Tanda said...

Wasn't sure whether I should laugh or feel completely sorry for these parents!

Mommyguilt may be onto something, lol.

Darren said...

That made me laugh...

Of course, I would have posted earlier by my dog ate my previous message. Honest!