Out Feltzing Feltz

Been over reading Retrotype. Annie is a rare blogger to even be mentioning Big Brother - I know my husband was looking forward to watching it, but as I really couldn't see the point this year, he has gone off the idea of watching it on his own. Seems it's no fun without someone to shudder along with you, in his mind.

I applied to be on BB once - series 4 I think, and got down to the last 800. Then came a really in-depth catalogue of extra questions about what you would and would not be prepared to do - lots of psychological analysis stuff.

I got blase, or rather had a healthy dose of absolute terror at the prospect, and sent back my form with some fairly off-putting answers - e.g. I would not be prepared to wear a bikini (I think I added that I hadn't had one for twenty years and wasnt going to start now.) They must have taken one look and thought they'd found Old Mother Hubbard with full PMT.

Anyhow, after that fairly narrow escape, I got over the panic attack and regretted it, thought I'd like another go at getting in (remember this was back in the day when they let grown-ups play.)

My younger brother looked me up and down in shock and disgust and remarked that I'd have been in the house for five minutes and then out-Feltzed everybody. He was probably right, and I took it as a compliment even though it wasn't meant as one. Really I beat her to it and did my 'Feltzing' on the second application form - never mind getting as far as the doors.

For the record, I passed my eleven plus in the top 5% for the Ealing Borough and was destined to waste the next six years or so in a grammar school. My dear mother decided it had better be an all girls school to increase my chances of doing any work.

I only landed up at Ealing Girls (Now a secondary called Ellen Wilkinson, after a short red-headed communist who went on the Jarrow marches and apparently killed herself) because Godolphin & Latymer moved - mum thought it was too far to travel. Apparently (do correct me) thats where Vanessa Feltz went, and as we are exactly the same age, we would have been in a class together.

Its just one of those little 'what ifs' that turn up in life.