My mother told me that the way to save a marriage was to be certain you could leave if you wanted to - less resentment, no feeling of being trapped, less chance of upset spiralling out of control with feelings of impotence.
To that end (as I was in your average new marriage where every penny mattered) she urged me, strongly, to hide enough cash from my husband to make certain I could do a runner if I wanted to, an exit plan.
Agree or disagree? Please comment - I'd love to know!
8 comments:
Agreed. If my mother hadn't had the forethought to do this and escape her violent husband (i.e. my father) neither her nor my infant self would've been alive now.
Your mother sounds like a very sensible person. My mother would think she was evil. Marriage is forever in my mother's fundamentalist little world. Never mind if it kills you.
I must be honest, to me it felt like deception at first, but as a young mum learning to be tied down, the escape kitty was one little freedom, a sense of still being me, and stopped a lot of rows becoming desperate because I wasnt completely trapped. It kept my self respect.
Your mother sounds like a real idiot.
I am sorry, anonymous (aka coward) I wrote a scathing reply, but I see now you are American and today read an article that 50% of your population spend some time with a mental illness, according to your own psychiatrists.
I guess Comcast Cable, or Derry, or even New Hampshire as a whole has to have its share of those, and I dont like to mock the afflicted.
God bless you, and get well soon.
Agree!
I think I agree. For quite a long while with a violent ex of mine I used to keep a bag packed in the boot of my car. It took some of the drama out the rows.
I did eventually leave permanently. But the reason it took me so long was that I didn't have any money of my own, or anywhere to go.
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