Thoroughly Cheesed Off

It's a quarter to eleven on the last morning before the big monthly shop. My stomach has gone from making occasional polite reminders about getting around to breakfast, and started being forceful to the point of distraction.

So. Off to the kitchen.

There isn't much choice except cheese on toast, but that's OK. It doesnt even matter that the only cheese left in the fridge is the family size block of processed mild, normally reserved for the kids.


I know just what I want to zazz that up and make it a heavenly treat for my hollow stomach - hmm, horseradish sauce. There's nothing like a thin spreading of horseradish sauce under the cheese to bring it to life.

Only problem, there's nothing like horseradish sauce in my kitchen, either, it's all gone.

In fact, any of the following would make something out of cheap, bland, plastic cheese on toast, if we actually had any, of any of them, left!

• Hot horseradish sauce (under the cheese)
• Lea & Perrins Worcestershire sauce (under)
• Dried hot chilli seeds (over)
• Ketchup and oregano - a sort of a.a.f. pizza (under)
• English mustard (under)
• A miserable solitary slice of tomato (over)
• Pesto sauce (under)
• Marmite, scraped thin (under) - thanks Doris for the addition to the list. How could I forget Marmite?
  

Actually, for a moment there my heart skipped a beat, because we do have half a jar of inviting, green pesto sauce sitting at the back of the fridge. It's sat there for about three weeks. The small print on the bottle says to consume within four days. Huh.

So, I am munching through two soggy, sorry slices of toast and supermarket plastic. I can feel the indigestion coming on as we speak.

Thoroughly cheesed off, now.