02 March 2006

One Step Forward And Two Steps Back

Which is precisely how I feel.

There is no room left at the mainstream school I requested for Aspergers Son.

There is no provision in his Statement for an Individual Needs Assistant (INA), only for access to tools and not how this access is to be provided, nor how often.

If he doesn't get this school, the next best (which he has been offered) is miles away. There they will appreciate his need for a sense of security in the most unstructured environments (break time, corridors etc) however the offer comes with a stipulation that no transport will be provided. In other words the school will look after him, but the County will force him to make his own way by train and force us to pay for it.

If we refuse that, then we are back to the local Senior school which is on two completely separate sites, both of which have lots of add-ons and outbuildings and I will have to fight for INA provision to see him safely from A to B and fit to learn when he gets there. Also its the place where everybody from his current school will be going - including the kids he is particularly looking forward to never having to look at ever again.

The lady at County is writing to Governors now, to push his case further, and I am immensely grateful, but if I needed proof that someone has stolen my boxing gloves, then this is it.

I don't want to say it out loud, but I am more used to this kind of news setting my mind and heart racing, spurring me on to call in the troops and fight, fight, fight. This sensation that what I really need is a long sit down; this inability to get revved up or panicked; this is all very odd and new. Its like a piece of me should be screaming in my head right now,

when all there is

is

.... silence.


(Except for that rather annoying song linked at the top, here.)

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3 comments:

Angeline Rose Larimer said...

I'm thinking of ya, and wishing there was something to say or do.
IS there?
It shouldn't be this hard.

Jennifer said...

Silent screaming counts. I hear it.

Hugs.

jane said...

Seems like this is something common in both the UK and USA. They try to give the very minimum a child can get by with & even then, convenience or affordability is not guaranteed. You can still punch hard even if you aren't screaming.