05 March 2006

Thoughts of Chairwoman Miaow

Adverts that make me puke:

Cillit Bang
Cleaners for deaf people

Barclays
Most of the people setting out policies are really incredibly thick

Roc Retinox
Being 40 is great as long as you look only 2/3 of your age and nobody knows

Lombard Direct
Up to your eyeballs in debt? Borrow from us and buy more stuff.

Lynx Click
Spray yourself and become ten times more irresistible than a movie star. Because women are stupid.

Elephant.co.uk
An actor in an elephant suit. If you are thick enough to be amused, you are our target customer.

Bodyform Vote For Change
A good female truth wrapped up in a condescending (male?) marketing package that treats all women as ineffectual, sheep-like and thick. Oh sorry, not all women, only perfectly quoffed, slim, smartly dressed women who 'obviously' have high powered jobs and potential and a brain (because that's always true if you are skinny and in a suit, right?). Very important that, convincing your target audience that you think they have at least half a brain, especially if you are trying to sell them a concept that implies otherwise. This screams everything that is wrong with the system. As far as I'm concerned, the Ronseal ad is the perfect standard for any form of feminine hygiene marketing. 'Because it does what it says on the tin' is all we really want to know, I mean its going to get flushed down the loo in a few hours anyway.

Thought for the day

Having an adult child you are not on speaking terms with, is pathetic.
Having an adult child who tells you you are living on the wrong planet with your head up your own arse, every time they disagree with what you have to say, is worse.
Do your kid a favour, walk away. At worst, the only heart that will break is yours. At best, theirs will eventually break too and then they might grow up.

Things not to say post coitus

Babe, you need a wash.
Erm, did you eat yet, today?
Wow did you know when you pull that face you look like Mr Cadbury's parrot?
Excuse me, I need to go crap.
Turn the light off on your way out.

6 comments:

ME Strauss said...

I love the last bit--things not to say . . . another might be "Excuse me I didn't catch your name . . . sssszzzzz snore."

Great post AGAIN, Cheryl.

Milt Bogs said...

I was hoping the Lynx Click stuff might actually work. What's coitus?

Cheryl said...

Erm the dictionary says congress, so I guess its something to do with bush?

Writer Mom said...

I DO look like Mr. Cadbury's parrot. Yikes.

I'm digging the honest advertisements. Someone needs to do the American version.

*Our Bush has nothing to do with Congress (or dictionaries).

Cheryl said...

Hehe
Wrong bush, wrong congress....

ME Strauss said...

Cheryl,
You're looking at a U.K. dictionary that's the problem. Isn't it?