I Haven't Really Been Here

You might not have noticed.

Its been me posting, but like the rest of us I've not quite been in 'the zone'. I've not surfed and although I've read all the blogs I stay faithful to, mostly I've read the RSS feed instead of landing on the page. I've more often than not been completely stuck for a comment and really only found my voice (which sounds increadingly like my mother's) when responding to others who are also in the bleughs.

SheWeevil has better 'bleugh radar' even than me and so I have been on the receiving end of her kindness, because she saw. Badaunt, with a little time off work has spent it going above and beyond the call of, well, whatever calls. Both of these ladies have made me feel noticed and appreciated, and thats worth more than gold.

Writermom has bigged me up, bless her, so has Fineartist, and even Sassy whose life is still in freefall and ought by rights to be totally self involved and looking after number one, stopped by and said something lovely. For no good reason except she wanted to.

The list goes on, but if I become definitive about this instead of stopping at examples, then those who have been as preoccupied and vague and uncreative and otherwise stunned, in short those who have behaved exactly like me, might misunderstand.

See it strikes me that we've all had the script wrenched from our hands, one way or another. Some have shown it by blogging less frequently as they tend to whatever disaster or lack of direction has befallen them, some by pouring their frustration or confusion into words, and some, like me, by blogging as if nothing is wrong, yet feeling somehow not up to the challenge; a bit blank, a bit dumb. No sparkle.

We have entered the last phase of months of astrological upheaval - did you know that? we are between the last full moon and eclipse, of two or three. It began with the full eclipse back in October - if you were blogging then, go back to your posts of the time. We came out of that total shake up at the end of November, I think, and had a few days peace before facing a Grand Cross or somesuch over Christmas.

I remember a friend who is good at all this as explaining it as chaos shit for a few weeks, then a break, then a different sort of darker shit through Christmas to the end of March. Apparently if you are into all this stuff, this was a huge and rare shake up, and massive life lessons were learned through this period.

29th March people - the day for new starts. I think that a week after that I will look back further, to July or August of last year, and maybe you could too, because I have a feeling we will everyone of us be marvelling at the hidden truths that have come out since, and the way the world has changed. Liars and cheats discovered, people who thought they were helpless and hopeless finally learning different.

It may feel like you've been cursed since last October, but that will depend on who and what you are. I have a feeling that for most of the people on my links list, the curse will turn out to be a blessing after all.

~~~

And all that because I wanted to post an apology to the super-creative types like Milt and ME Strauss and Bart, because I have read their blogs with relish, but just been too darned stupid recently to think of a witty comment to say I'd been by.

I've been by, guys, honestly. Deep breath, the ground is moving up to meet us at last, but it IS going to be a soft landing.