ENJOY YOUR MONDAY MORNING
> I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send
> me your chain letters over the past years. Thank you for making me
> safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
> But because of your concern...
> I can no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
> I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these
> products are atheists that refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
> I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
> I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
> pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
> I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
> water buffalo on a hot day.
> I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
> perfume sample and rob me.
> I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are
> Al Qaeda in disguise.
> I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our
> I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
> stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls
> to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
> I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the estrogens they contain
> will turn me gay.
> I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible
> freaks with no eyes or feathers.
> I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me and take my
> and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
> Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
> forward an email to 7 of my friends and make a wish within 5 minutes.
> I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who has
> been dying for the past seven years.
> I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive
> the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in
> their special e-mail program.
> I will now return the favor.
> If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60
> seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will fly over your head at 5:00
> p.m., and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your crotch. I
> this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend
> a friend's neighbor's cousin, and he's a lawyer.
01 August 2005
The Ultimate Chain Letter
Got this in my email this morning. Lets hope some of those people who create or forward sickly sweet chain prayers/wishes referencing God or fairies or sometimes both will GET THE BLOODY MESSAGE!