27 August 2005

Masochistic Tendencies

Okay I admit it, I'm a complete masochist; I love watching the X Factor auditions.

How do the tone deaf get such faith in their abilities? The conceited ones make me giggle, but then there are always a few; wide eyed and bushy tailed, full of hope and a real (but completely inflated) idea that if they just sing their little hearts out, wonderful things will happen.

Its like watching Cinderella turn up at the ball with cabbage on her teeth and a huge premenstrual zit on her nose.

Every nervous warble makes by heart bleed for their panic. Every bum note actually pierces me, making my stomach tie further and further into knots with each one. One leg sometimes starts to twitch with the urge to physically wince and curl up into a ball, in empathy. I have been known to finish the programme and find I am huddled at the top of the armchair out of some involuntary need to crawl backward away from it all.

Love it.

Somewhere in the middle you get one, maybe two voices that are so tonally perfect that they slice the air, reverberate in your very being and leave you in freefall. Until next week. Its a funny thing, hope; it can polish a voice or smash it and I know that as the groups dwindle, many of those that sang like angels will never manage it again.

Roll on next week!

5 comments:

Lucy Stern said...

I don't think you would catch me up there. No way!

fineartist said...

I know the feeling, sometimes it’s embarrassment for the poor unsuspecting soul….Other times it’s like a train wreck, sick, but you can’t stop watching, then like you say, someone will come on stage and absolutely blow your frappin mind with a voice that you could listen to for a long while and never grow tired of.

My little Samps wont even watch American Idle anymore on the nights when they kick people off, it literally makes him ill, and he really was into that show at first.

Milt Bogs said...

Thanks for the flute offer Cheryl. I'll make sure it's added to my donate an organ list. I find Cinderella plus zit and cabbage less embarrassing. I have been known to end up behind the armchair with my fingers in my ears and my eyes closed.

bulb said...

We invented it. I mean the concept of the show is a Dutch export product. We also export chemicals for use in weapons and illegal drug production.

I'm more ashamed of our television exports though.

Le laquet said...

I too love watching the auditions - the cringe factor is amazing. But even more I love watching the OH watching the auditions ..... his cringing, behind a pillow is an art form.