16 May 2005

What is it with me and unstable loonies?

I belong to FanStory, a site for writing poetry and short stories. Its OK as it goes, but occasionally is highjacked by people who write themselves the most outrageously big-headed profiles (Think "I want to be the Queen of your hearts") and produce absolute pap - you know the stuff, the type should never have come any further into the public domain than the back of a school exercise book.

Thats why I rarely put one of my own works on this blog (see two posts down, Empty Serenade), and when I do I am fairly desperate for comments - honest ones, mind you, if its crap, I want to be told that its crap, please, so I dont go on deluding myself.

If people who spew out total tripe all gang together and give each other five stars for their rubbish just as a mutual appreciation thing, what hope in hell do I have? I have no idea whether my stuff is good, or getting better, if the stars system cannot be relied on, and that is REALLY depressing.

I gave a girl four stars today. Four stars = Excellent, and I was being generous. Her concept was witty, her rhymes were great, but there wasnt any rhythm AT ALL. I sat and counted to prove a point (eventually, when she insisted on more info) and in the first four verses there werent two single lines of the same length, I couldnt even find a pattern to say which lines were too short or too long, so I was vague and polite and (all things considered) gushingly supportive.

I said:
Very funny and clever!

Sorry to dock a star but the meter was out in places, some of the lines were a beat too short or long, so it stumbles in places. Forgive me if you disagree and assign our difference to accent :-)

Very witty
I mean, come on, how less offensive could I be?

This is what the unstable little psycho wrote back:

Please, Madbaggage, don't leave us all in the dark!! Your comments reek with vagueness!

One would think that someone as Grammatically and Scripturally Pristine as you, who demands excellence in everything you mark,would not NEVER leave such an incomplete review!

Unless, of course, you just PREACH impeccability and are not in the habit of PRACTICING it, too!

It would be remiss of someone as clever as you, not to clearly define what you've outlined with your Red Ink!

Do not leave us to think that you're cleverness is just a facade,without substance and that you just spew.......random thought!

Please give a clearer indication,that you are truely smart and know what you're doing when you attempt a review, by adding the necessary detail !

" out in places..... ?????" and " some of the lines....???" - just won't do!
Quite sloppy for someone as demanding as you !

In view of what I've outlined, I expect you, to oblige!

Kindest regards!
So. Obviously she's about 21 and a bit of a princess - at least I hope she is, given the mistakes and the excessive punctuation. I'd hate to think she was older than that and completely without room to mature.

Maybe I should read people's profiles before touching their work...

Do you want to know what makes me really feel like dirt? All her other (eight or nine) reviews gave her five stars, she has obviously never had a two or three star review (I think she'd have died of an embollism, by the looks of it) and this little madam has been generally assisted to believe she has the right to bully anyone who doesnt bow down and call her work sheer perfection.

Why do I always get the bloody loonies? And why do I bother?

I need a hug. Please.


Jade said...

First of all....HUG....second, where'd you dig up that wacko? Ouch!

Just another American Expat said...

Yeah those whack jobs that can't take a little criticism are all over blog land. Consider my little incident a few weeks back. At least she didn’t threaten to sue! LOL

anniebee said...

That girl obviously didn't get enough smacks when she was a child!!! My boys would get the rough edge of my tongue if they carried on like that. Seriously, what a sarky little madam! There are some very weird people around. Have a big hug from me too! And have a good week as well!

Library Lady said...

One of the best bosses I ever had was really hard on me when it came to service reviews. But when she praised me on them, I knew I had really done well.

But people generally DON'T want constructive criticism--they just want to be patted on the head and told they are wonderful!

Fine, let them. Then let them try sending some of the tripe they put up on the Net to a real publisher. They're in for a rude shock. And I hope they don't quit their day jobs.....

Ally said...

Agree with Library Lady. If one isn't prepared to listen to criticism, then one shouldn't ask for it. And she clearly is about twelve years old, mentally if not physically.

She Weevil said...

I have cancelled my subscription or I would hunt her down and tell her in no uncertain terms exactly what was the matter with her poetry. You mentioned the word meter and, oddly, that ellicited a similar response to one of my reviews. Maybe they just don't understand what it is. Anybody would have thought that the use of it was akin to practicsing the dark arts!! This is what I got to one of mine: "XXXXXXX wrote,
I did like the symmetry of the words of this postings. They lent themselves to a feeling of "something different in the works," but I have to admit, I have no idea what a "Rosa Maigold" is and wasn't able to find a satisfactory answer". Obviously along with the term meter, the idea of googling has apparently passed them by too. I would be interested to hear off-blog who it was.

As for the strength of you writing, you know how I feel about it and to be honest I don't think you should waste your time (that's harsh - I didn't mean it to sound so) with Fanstory but in the pursuit of a publisher or agent.

Hug, btw.

Badaunt said...

I agree with SheWeevil - you should be OUT THERE looking for a publisher, not messing around with idiots who are tone-deaf to the beauty of language. We can tell you you're good until we're blue in the face and you won't believe us anyway, and silly people like that prat you tried to help will just distract you. Have some faith in yourself, woman! You're a DAMNED good writer.

And get published. Prove us right, because we are.


Cheryl said...

Err, Wow.
I thought I was stunned into silence before,... I was wrong. Thanks guys!

Steve said...

I can see that you are getting a little more comfortable with accepting praise and/or compliments lately but I still get the impression that you feel that we say these positive things about your writing because we are your friends or dont want to offend you.
This is just not the case I tell you frequently how much i enjoy your blog, some of your short stories are so well written, with a nasty twist at the end, I sometimes worry for Gary's safety lol.
So take it from me whether its commissions from periodicals to contribute or a full blown book deal you owe it to yourself to give it a go because you are a gifted writer and if you dont you will never know
As for that precious, egocentric muppet from fan story I wouldnt waste any energy (although I would be interested in reading your response should you decide to write one ;)