25 November 2005

Ode Re-allocated

Wrote this a year back, on Fanstory.com, when there was some 'battle of the sexes' banter going on.

Republished here in honour of a friend who has fallen head over heels in love BEFORE finding out that, ahem, personal relations with the love of her life can be a little on the impressive side. Never mind the cherry on the cake, we are talking cherry on a cocktail stick, methinks.

Pins and needles at attention,
Whether they be thin or thick
Cannot cause me apprehension,
Each a boring little prick

Rather would I have a chopper
Strong and sturdy in the shaft,
With a solid head, a whopper,
Any less is simply daft.

All this talk of weapon wielding
With no guarantee of size,
Are there secrets you are shielding
From our little mouse-like eyes?

Get the goods out on the table
Tell us what we're rhyming for
Give us reason, if you're able,
Recommend yourself a bore.

If you are not clean of habit,
Knowing how to wash a cup,
Scrap the deal and pass the rabbit,
Sorry dear, your number's up.

(Apparently in this case, he doesn't just wash up, he cooks, and even TALKS. She's hit the jackpot - good luck to her!)


doris said...

Ha-ha! This ode is priceless :-D

Wonderful news about your friend. isn't it funny how so many big things are going on - some are having cruddy times and others are head over heels.

Badaunt said...


bart said...


very good, loved the verse...
his name isn't Warren by any chance? :P

Milt Bogs said...

"Little things mean a lot" was a great song and always offered comfort especially in cold weather.
We specialise in whoppers here in Bogsville.

fineartist said...

Good on her and you too, this is a hoot.

Host of Spirits said...

Blushes at the thought that the object of her affections (and the ode) might read this and know we have been discussing his erm ... big things

Anonymous said...

Hi All,

As the object of discussion has a mind of it's own and, like mindless conversation, expands to fill the available space, it's somewhat pointless applying a rule. Suffice it to say that Annie does have problems with her vision at times. But it is really nice to have one's efforts appreciated....