Wrote this a year back, on Fanstory.com, when there was some 'battle of the sexes' banter going on.
Republished here in honour of a friend who has fallen head over heels in love BEFORE finding out that, ahem, personal relations with the love of her life can be a little on the impressive side. Never mind the cherry on the cake, we are talking cherry on a cocktail stick, methinks.
Pins and needles at attention,
Whether they be thin or thick
Cannot cause me apprehension,
Each a boring little prick
Rather would I have a chopper
Strong and sturdy in the shaft,
With a solid head, a whopper,
Any less is simply daft.
All this talk of weapon wielding
With no guarantee of size,
Are there secrets you are shielding
From our little mouse-like eyes?
Get the goods out on the table
Tell us what we're rhyming for
Give us reason, if you're able,
Recommend yourself a bore.
If you are not clean of habit,
Knowing how to wash a cup,
Scrap the deal and pass the rabbit,
Sorry dear, your number's up.
(Apparently in this case, he doesn't just wash up, he cooks, and even TALKS. She's hit the jackpot - good luck to her!)