05 February 2005

Don't know what to say.
Not in the mood to be informative, opinionated, funny, chatty, anything.
Been listening to training tapes for the new business and the guy has likened just about every scenario to formula one driving. I'm OK with that, honestly, but I am beginning to recognise an element of burn-out in myself, all revved up all week with no place to go........well places to go for sure, but next week. Hiccups and hold-ups, I havent found a pace yet and its annoying the hell out of me.
I just don't seem to have managed to fit a life in amongst the anticipation.
One thing I know about myself - this guy warns against getting too eager, working too hard (how honest and unlike any MLM is that??), says to keep a happy pace to avoid 'crashing your car'.
So now I have this revelation about me - I dont crash, I have no intention of stopping, its just that my engine overheats. Flip, I can see the steam from here. Both scenarios can make an engine explode so I guess I am going to have to make a concerted effort to leave the vehicle and let it cool, or wander off in search of water, which in itself is flipping aggravating - I'm only in this state because my 'car' hasnt got far enough up the road already for my liking. Bugger bugger bugger bum.
I didnt know when I signed on that I was going to be 'high maintenance'. One thing is for sure, when I have a stream of downlines in this set up I will have an answer for everything: pre-formatted, smiley, enthusiastic and informative little notes ready to personalize. I may never have been a salesman like my upline, but boy have I been a trainer, wet nursed the most aggressive, incompetent, self employed go-getters imaginable and turned them into something akin to professionals without either of us drawing blood. Motivation should be my middle name.
Wow I found something to feel good about.
So, apart from the facts that:
  1. I broke a tooth last night and have a smile like something off Nightmare On Elm Street with perfect timing for the big day on Monday
  2. I put weight on recently and only have/had one pair of really smart trousers that fit comfortably and the cat has just scratched huge thread-loops into the front of one leg
  3. I have one pair of smart-ish flat shoes fit for a training day doing who knows what and they're suede and dirty.
  4. I ran out of my favourite hair conditioner, the local Superdrug stopped selling it and I look like you could stuff a horsehair sofa with the mop on my head
  5. The kids are cheerfully trying to wind each other up / kill each other as I sit and write (Imogen has just begun a war of attrition, repetitively whining a little song to get up Lewis' nose, and I can see his fists twitching from here)
Yup, apart from all that, that this will mean I turn up on Monday looking not like a sleek executive (hahahahaha) but more like a frazzled tatty and slightly mad woman, I have to say I have a few really good skills and no one on this earth is going to stop me picking up a few more.

So Ner. I feel better now.

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