Today, for me, there is F all good about being a grown up, at least not when that's combined with having children. Heres my list of why not:
- When you're ill, no other bugger does the laundry for four, or the school run.
- When you're ill, the kids dont tiptoe into a corner and behave, or miraculously learn how to feed themselves, in fact they see their window of opportunity and get worse.
- 20 year olds with no ties, no bills and no responsibilities will live on fast food and treat thenselves to new clothes and then tell you they are broke, and want/need your money
- You get to eat cheap food like mince, a lot.
- You get used to generic supermarket tomato sauce and five-minute pasta.
- Even going out for a drink is an indulgence that taxes the planning skills of a military tactician and means egg and chips for a fortnight to cover the cost.
- You have to time your escapes around the baby-sitter's home time.
- You give up and spend all day 'on call' to family, in front of the computer or the TV, getting fat.
- Older, better off parents roll their eyes and smile benignly about being tapped for money by their 20- something child, for inane stuff like skiing trips, and you want to smack them in the teeth.
- Everyone expects you to have your act together and to actually know what you're doing.
Bahh bloody humbug.
Oh, the let down by the son?
We borrowed to the hilt to get him home from his last fishing job, as he ended up stranded in Wales. He owes us for that and we need it.
He got paid last weekend and spent the money on swanking about in a hotel with his girlfriend, showing her the high life. He spent all of it, every penny, so he was living off us all this week and even had to tap me for fares back to work.
He got extra money this weekend and instead of coming home or even phoning to let us know we could give his dinner to the cat, he went out drinking. I phoned him and he was in the middle of a pub or nightclub.
"Spending your money, Andrew?"
"No, what money, I got next to nothing this week"
"Well you sound a little drunk"
"I'm not drunk, I'm just tired, ooh, my battery's going.... brrrrrrrrrr"