Why Do The Bondage Girls Have All The Best Frocks?

I've decided its just not fair.

Say I wanted to dress up like Jessica Rabbit or Betty Boop; rich, luscious colours and kinky fabrics.

Say I LOVED buckles (I do actually), buckled wrist bands, boots with a hundred buckles to them, heels high enough to force a Mae West wiggle.

Say I just wanted to get up and go out making a statement that I am strong, and independent, sexy as hell and generally speaking simply the dogs bollocks (that's the bees knees to my nicer friends). Stuff the sequins and bugger pink, I want velvet, latex, leather and lace in bottle green or dark blood red.

WHY should I get looked at like some desperate attention-seeking loony, or worse, gagging for it, if I wore it in the street?

WHY should I have to find certain clubs or certain parties and hang round with men who have chains in their penis heads and want to discuss knots, just to wear a sexy frock and feel special?

WHY, if I want to indulge a little adult dressing up fantasy, to feel like a princess or a magical something or other, should I have to join a BDSM clan to get a round of applause instead of a serenade of shocked whispers?

I also refuse to belong to that god-awful exhibitionist couple whose sole purpose is to steal the limelight from the hosts, to be overdressed to the nines at other peoples 'ordinary' parties, so they can dance erotically all night and generally take over. Very bad form, and tacky.

Its not fair and its so not fair that I don't own even a little bodice, even a nod to empowered dressing, because my lifestyle and society's expectations give me no reason to ever wear it. I mean, how tedious is that?

Don't get me wrong; this isn't a kinky post. I have nothing against the types who are into BDSM as a sort of social lifestyle and I know a few - alarmingly (is this just in the UK?) they all seem to be techies and computer geeks. I could even say they all seem to be a little, um, repressed, verging on aspergers. Yup, geeks. Same thing. Love 'em. Really sweet, shy, thoughtful, logical types in the normal scheme of things. I guess still waters run deep.

See if I want to get drunk with you and let a typical female conversation ensue, we 'average joes' could cover any subject - candle wax and nipple clamps could be discussed in the same five minutes as check out queues and incontinence, its just a laugh, a raunchy, risque, fun conversation. If however one of the group was to draw in a sharp breath and start looking like their eyelids were filling with blood, well that would just freak me out. I'm the girl who watches drag acts and ends up trying to work out how they did their makeup.

I've worked out what my problem is. I think I want to be on stage. I want my round of applause from a distance, without anyone suggesting chinese rope or D rings.

So, having worked out that I would cheerfully be a gay icon and probably want to swap lives with Cher - who do you want to be?