Yesterday's flight of fantasy veered from blaming society that I couldn't dress up and play Diva, to admitting I want Cher's wardrobe and performance itinerary, to trying out a dinky little number on someone I quite resemble and choking on my cuppa. Its been a rollercoaster.
Right now I sympathise with Hattie Jacques in that movie where she let her inner self out every time the music played and wafted around the room wanting to be an exotic butterfly - knowingly capitalising on the comedy of a large woman wanting to be something floaty and ethereal. Carry On Teacher?
How many times a day/week/month do you let your inner child dream, until your inner parent makes you look in a cold mirror and tells you you must be joking? How often do you let that make you cringe or feel stupid?
How often do you suddenly understand what the ugly duckling must have felt like, incredibly lonely and foolish and apologising for not being the right shape/size/colour? Sadly for us humans, if you were ever going to be a swan generally you've been there and done that by now - the fairy story works backwards for us.
Next time I feel that little ugly duckling rear his head and suggest hiding in the bullrushes until I'm more 'acceptable'................... I'm going to ring his rotten little neck.