23 May 2006

GIZZA FLIPPIN' JOB!!!!!!!!!

Translation for my American Friends: "Cooee, there wouldn't happen to be any employment out there that I could shine at, would there?"


Beautiful, practical, intelligent (did I say beautiful?) woman with an evil eye for the truth and detail, who is a dab hand at all things office, all things liaison, all things research. Especially good at translating bureaucrospeak into plain English and foiling governments by filling in 68 page grant applications etc, correctly. Can string a sentence together, can keep her mouth shut. Can mix with anybody, can mix drinks. Can switch from invisible to dominant in 0.3 seconds, depending on whether the work requires ears, eyes or a sensibly heeled foot.

Fidelity bonded once, CRB cleared not too long ago. Prefers underdogs, quirky types and individuals to rat-race kings and jobsworths.

Intensely creative, but needs a starting point.

Wouldn't happen to have one of those, would you?

3 comments:

266k said...

As a quirky individual creative underdog herself, I would employ you.

That is if I had a job.

Doh!

If you get offered more than one, can I have the other one?

Thanks!

(word verification - qaxas: I most certainly am)

jane said...

You are SO employable! I'd hire you in a New York minute...if I had a job.

Miss Cellania said...

If you find two jobs, send me one! And whether you translate into plain English depends on what side of th pond you are on.