01 December 2005

I Wish

  • I wish I'd used the word 'obliged' instead of 'raped' all through that other post, at least as far as it relates to me. It means the same thing, in context, but one word has more shock value and accords more victim status. The last thing I am, these days, is a victim, and I meant to explain a train of thought, not shock people, so, sorry.

  • I wish I'd done one even longer post and kept that attached to the bit that was meant to be part one of the same thing. There are more and more reports of female violence these days. We've never had a monopoly on moral restraint. Nowadays as girls are brought up convinced of their equality to men, it simply becomes a matter of who they choose as role models, because the choice is there from either gender. Men, please don't apologise for being male, it’s like apologising for having brown hair.

  • I wish I could get this picture out of my head (thank you, mommyguilt) of 'riding someone until they straighten their knickers'! Can a graphic mental image also be an oxymoron, or is that just words? ROFL!!

  • I kind of wish I ran an anonymous blog. I believe there is more strength in heavy issues when the people who speak can be identified. I am in no way ashamed of who I am or anything I've seen or experienced and I think I could say all of the same things to any one of you all over again, face to face, over coffee, without even a twitch of an eyebrow. The timing and appropriateness would be about your reactions, your emotional distress, not mine. It’s just that, as you can't see how unphased, how healed I am, I am feeling spotlighted by all the support and attention. Guys, it’s cool. Not remotely cool if you're going through it, I admit, but if I had any major issues left, I'd have been way too ashamed to say a word. OK?

11 comments:

doris said...

Cheryl! You are way too funny... "am I bovvered?"


LOL


(You may not be bovvered but these things are good to be discussed. So thank you.)

The Moai said...

I'm bovvered!
Lovely writing, I am linking to you forthwith. I'd be very pleased if you could take a look at my blog and tell me what you think. I maintain anonymity but I find it sometimes gets in the way of writing what I want to. On the other hand, I think work be slightly less than well pleased if they found out.

Cheryl said...

OK moai
I looked.
Sharp and funny.
In fact I stayed longer than I meant to. I'll be back!

Ally said...

Men, please don't apologise for being male, it’s like apologising for having brown hair.

Yes, quite :).

Milt Bogs said...

'riding someone until they straighten their knickers' has just about finished me off Cheryl. I think I'm going to have a nightmare again!

Writer Mom said...

Glad it's all Okay.

Would love to have the coffee some time.
Maybe.
Ya never know.

You always get me thinking whenever I stop by.

zilla said...

I think of all your posts, this one most shows all the reasons I love you so much. First, the "wishes," when the way you've done things is just absolutely already perfect, is so wonderfully human. But this line, this is the one I love the most:

"I am in no way ashamed of who I am or anything I've seen or experienced and I think I could say all of the same things to any one of you all over again, face to face, over coffee, without even a twitch of an eyebrow."

Really, it makes Sussex seem not at all too far from either Scotland or Italy. (Especially if there's a good chippy in town. Or are they not called chippies there?)

zilla said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Cheryl said...

Zilla!

Trust me, you do not want chips on the beach down here in January. Besides the wind chill and sand polishing, the seagulls that are still around are pretty desperate by then and if they cant attack your chips they are just as likely to poop on them from a great height. Honestly, they think they're all biggles. Have you ever heard 100 seagulls laugh?

Please please please find a day to 'do Brighton' or somesuch so we could meet up this year. Brilliant!

fineartist said...

I so value your honesty, courage, and candor. You are a champion Cheryl, and one tough lady.

I read this post and the ones before, I couldn’t find the words to reply, then, but I thank you for writing them.

Big ol’ bear hug, Lori

Cheryl said...

FA - I hope you find this - let me know if you do because otherwise I'll email it to you.

You are the tough lady champion.

Now you know why I so looked up to you when we blogged about the levels we sank to in a bad marriage - if I had had your erm, balls, if I had let him know right at the beginning that I wasn't afraid and he wasn't going to get away with being worse, well, who knows.

I wish I'd done it your way! I wish I'd had the gall to wave a baseball bat at him before I became too scared to even disagree with him. This ex-wimp rates you, right back.