1950s Eyebrows

I have 1950s eyebrows.

So that seems like a vacuous, vain and self involved statement to make. Fair go. My eyebrows in their natural state would look at home on any horsey-faced 1950s brunette, from Joyce Grenfell to Joan Crawford. Its just the way they are, planted high above my eyes, they go straight out until they go straight down, like a pair of shelf brackets, (without the depth of course, I mean I'm not Dennis Healy).

What brought this on?

Tabby Rabbit was blogging about the bits of a movie she liked, which turned out to be the boots in this scene, the suit worn in that, and it reminded me of the last time I watched a movie three or four times not for enjoyment of the story but for more technical reasons. This was way back in the very early seventies when the BBC's stock of Sunday afternoon family movies was limited and mostly from the 1930s to 50s. Things like Show Boat.

Back when 'modern' beauty involved short eyebrows near to the eyes with no visible socket (Susan George, Suzi Quatro, in some shots Twiggy), when being grown up meant wearing all the things I wasn't allowed, like a ton of liquid eyeliner and false lashes, Show Boat was my first make-up lesson. A limited palette of subtle pastels (which was all I was allowed) mixed to define my sort of high brow bone and eyes that were simultaneously deep set and prominent. Watching Helen Morgan and the rest taught me how to colour in all the way from lashes to brow without looking like a clown.

Since then (even though I am stuck in a happy rut now, rarely wear makeup and don't feel the need for hints and tips any more) if a woman appears pretty on a music video, advert or movie, I always end up analysing how her face has been done.

White or cream inner eyeliner, a false glow to the skin at the inner or outer eye, how many shades of eyeshadow (usually in plum and neutral and beiges and browns if others (men) are trying to say she looks natural) two or three different shades of lippy.

All those face cream and cleanser adverts really annoy me - the ones where the girl appears to rub the moisturiser or whatever into a cheek that is wearing three shades of foundation and two or three of blusher, I mean PLEASE! How thick do they think we are? I can have skin like yours, dear? Not from that bloody cleansing cream I can't; lets have the half dozen tubes of pigment, the highlighter, the lipgloss and the trained makeup artist you just used, plus the soft lighting and the complimentary background. Grrrr.

The bottom line these days, I guess, when someone looks glowing and attractive, is that it makes me feel a hell of a lot better to sit there smugly, knowing they're wearing a ton weight of slap to create the illusion. That in the end its all bullsh*t, all smoke and mirrors and underneath it all they're 99% of them girls you wouldn't notice in the supermarket. Thank Heaven.