Detritus of the mind

... otherwise known as a brain fart. If my thoughts were a bottle of ketchup then perhaps I left the lid off too long and this is the equivalent of slapping out the junky, coagulated stuff. Breathe deep, here goes....

Been experiencing loads of stuff recently, some funny, some dire, much personal. Roughly every twenty minutes, whilst pacing round in my mind in ever decreasing circles, I come across something that would be 'good to blog', but then never get around to it - somehow signing into my account, or finding the words, or doing the links, all seems like too much hoo-ha.

Yes, in the UK a hoo-ha is a load of fuss and bother, not a fandanglywotsit. Whatever that is.

I am currently, very bravely, forcing down a glass of South African Pinotage which, in this case, failed to travel. At least it travelled very well, if it was always meant to taste like Ribena mixed with petrol. Lets just say I have never, in my life, sunk to chewing gum and sipping wine simultaneously..... until now. Somehow its helping. If there was a cigarette in reach, I might have to also undertake a furious walk outdoors, and swear a lot, to get over the urge to light one at least ten in a chain.

All this kerfuffle over the UK Celebrity Big Brother has made me much more interested in the peacemakers and go-betweens.

For those of you who have escaped being informed about this, last week there was seemingly some celebrity three-onto-one bullying with racist overtones.

Little Danielle, one of the perpetrators, was seemingly trying to make peace, making overtures of friendship to Shilpa, but then running back to Jade to voluntarily twist everything that had been said. I really cant tell whether she's completely insecure or a total stirrer.

Dirk and Jermaine have both encouraged Shilpa to rise above it all and been a source of comfort, whilst at the same time being decent towards the 'opposition', although they have definitely shown a preference for which company they keep. Dirk is more the clown, Jermaine more the serious, inflexible one.

Cleo, however has hovered ineffectually between them all, apparently trying to 'sit on the fence' and for that she annoys me intensely. I know the others dont reject her, and to be honest although she claims to mean well, her behaviour looks so self-serving.

Real grace hates the sin but loves the sinner. Real strength and balance can say "I see good things in you, but what you did was wrong".

All I see Cleo doing (and I know TV can warp these things) is refusing to judge even the actions. She never actually comforts anyone or validates how upset they feel because she seems to be there only to convince tham that it 'wasnt that bad', that they are 'wrong to be so upset'. Whatever feelings she has, she hides them, and her official stance is that the other side 'didnt mean it', no matter who you are or what just happened to you. The thing is, this desperation to be seen to have no favorites, to be completely on the fence, all it does when she rushes to console someone (and, I suspect, to underline her chosen role of official angel), is dismiss their understanding of the situation and oh-so-subtly castigate them for how they are feeling. She puts them in the role of victim and child, and then reinforces it, with a gentle, parental voice, calmly telling them they got it all wrong; leaving them feeling foolish and somehow to blame, whether that is true or not.

I've heard others accuse her of being sexual to the extreme in her clothing, but unwilling to mention sex. I've heard her called abused, for that. I've heard some say she takes control of a weeping co-contestant quite deliberately, needing to be the one in the right. Personally I feel she doesnt see it that way, but damn, I'd like to tell her. In her efforts to help she enacts her own form of bullying because she sucks power and dignity from others, presumably to bolster her own self image and sense of having the upper hand.

That leaves H.
Of them all, kind, gentle H has somehow managed to validate and appreciate each and every person (how very John Edward). Their eyes light up when they relate to him, none of this glassy eyed preparation to be both in the wrong and educated (as there seems to be with Cleo), they are all relaxed and open with him, even though he has managed to voice his understanding of what is unacceptable behaviour.

The guy has talent. Tell me there are no vicars, psychologists or counsellors in his ancestry, I won't believe it.

People have won or lost on the basis of their manners and social skills (all subjective) and how they reflect those of the average BB viewer. I'm sorry but although Shilpa is strong and dignified, beautiful and considerate, her permanently high pitched, sing-song voice and her alleged habit of helping herself off other people's plates without even the distance afforded by cutlery (and the pot may be communal, but here a plate is so very private), well, culturally neither of these things are typically British. I think it would be a bit forced, if she won.

Cleo, apparently, is second choice, but my money is on H to win, with Dirk a close second.