More Good Aquarians

Perhaps I am as batty as erm, a batty-bat-thing, but it being February 3rd I suspect time has come to say a huge

Happy Birthday!

to both:

Zilla AAARGH! Not yet! ITS THE 8TH. See *.

and

Poet266. YAY! Hooray! Today!

In fact happy birthday to all Aquarians everywhere, including Doris whose B-day I shamefully forgot. *

We rock. (Well, you three rock and I'm happy to bandwagon.)

C
xx


*Its the tablets, I forget everything.**

**Yes ok I'll be dining off that excuse for years to come, but beats going 'ooh, my heart' everytime I want my own way. I do have some standards.

Talking Myself Out Of A Happy Birthday

Update at bottom of post.

A zillion reasons to call the whole thing off

• Its almost that week of the month.
• I am fat.
• I am evil tempered.
• I've had to give up on wearing my smart trousers tonight and opt for the larger-wasted jeans because everything else is cutting me in half.
• They fall down if I stand up,
• The only belt that fits has a pointy buckle and it digs in if I sit down.
• I also dyed my hair today, semi permanent, nat. dark brown, same as last month, except Superdrug were out of stock so I used Boots.
• Its crap.
• This morning I had a silver stripe if I made a central parting. Now its orange, and smelly, and wider than before because the damned ammonia lifted some of last month's colour at the same time.
• It also made my fingertips feel scarily sticky when wet.
• And like they have excema when dry.
• I can't find my eyebrow wax.
• I look like some hairy neanderthal wild woman who can't find her eyebrow wax.
  
• I have never been this fat before in my life.
• I could probably handle it if I could still sit on my ankles, or breathe properly, or not feel like I was walking round in a sumo suit.
• We're going to the Komedia club and I've never been there before.
• I've never been to a comedy thingummy at all before.
• I hate new experiences when someone else has high hopes or expectations based on my reaction. I'd much sooner know whether or not I like something BEFORE my partner is going to sulk for a week if I dont.
• I would have sooner gone to the music event because they are more predictable - no smoke, no other noise, seats facing front etc.
• The comedy tickets are cheaper.
• My inner witch is saying things about that and I am ignoring her with gritted teeth.
• I didnt get any present from him or the kids this morning 'because we are going out instead'. Oh yup, she has things to say there, too.
  
• I have this fear that the Komedia will be packed to the hilt with noisy, derogatory, self-involved 20 and 30-somethings.
• I dont want to spend my night in a schoolyard for brats with car keys and designer handbags and too much money.
  
• I have this fear that its going to reek deliciously of cigarettes and tobacco and I will turn into a craven maniac chewing the foul, beer spattered carpet for want of a smoke before the first turn even gets to the stage.
• I think I have an ulcer from the blood thinners. It would explain why my skin from ribs to belly button is as tight as a medicine ball right now.
• It would also explain why working myself up like this means my throat is burned to a crisp.
  
• I'm more involved in where the Rennies are than where I left my purse.
• If they don't serve coffee at this rate I am going to have to sip one beer, very, very, slowly.
• Part of me just wants to spoil it all right now, to be done with all this acid-making anticipation. What a brat I can be.
  
• Oh yes, and I'm fat. Did I mention that?

(Wish me luck....)

UPDATE:
It was brilliant! We laughed ourselves silly and even ended up with seats in the front row. I was making whooping noises in the applause, it was that good. Then I got back home and found out that you lot are the best blog-friends ever! Talk about a wonderful birthday.
Its five minutes to February here now, so I cant hang around and say more, except, THANK YOU!!! :-)

How British Are You?

Ben Fenton over at the Telegraph has designed a comprehensive little quiz to test your Britishness. If you are not British, or have no desire to be British, but think you have a fair idea of what is wrong with the British, then you are still allowed to play.

Heres a sample question:

7) You are standing in a crowded train and somebody stands on your foot, so you:

a) Stand on theirs, crying 'See, that's what it feels like, you troglodyte'.

b) Ignore it and hope nobody notices that you haven't made a fuss

c) Ignore it and hope everybody notices that you haven't made a fuss.

d) Apologise and move a few feet sideways.

OK? Got the drift?

Word of warning:
You may wish to remove breakable objects from reach, replace them with a box of tissues, and thoroughly empty your bladder before following the link... HERE.

Yonner Rocks!

Found Yonner today.

Yonner (Mark Goodwin) got 'discovered' on his blog when he decided to play the nose trumpet and video the results. His (wonderful) mini recital was soon snapped up by the UK's Channel 4, and here is the news article to back that up.

You can see his Symphony #1 in B minor, HERE.

Thoroughly recommended - hang on in there for the four part harmonies!

Music To Go Gay By?

The following list was built, it seems, by good Christian parents emailing in details of any suspect performer or piece of music; specifically anything that they feel stirs the loins in the 'wrong' direction. Corinne Bailey Rae is on the list and so is Frank Sinatra, because, heavens, Betsy, today's wayward young uns just can't get enough of Ol' Blue Eyes, if you don't keep them on a tight leash.

Site host Donnie Davies' encouraging comment at the bottom of the page "You guys know of a lot more Gay Bands than I do" says more about the contributors than was perhaps intended.

Here's the list.

Stegbeetle - you may be pleased to know that Evanescence made it on to the safe and sanctioned list...... phew, eh?

Vanity

Erm, about the change of photo in the profile from the crabby old bag version to the fancy-antsy one.

Yup, that one.

About that.

Well.

See, if you are quick the very lovely Mr Tino Buntic is creating a page linking to just 2,000 bloggers; all just for the fun of it, and the way to get onto the page is to run over to his blog and ask; here.

The only thing he asks is that your blog has a photo of you on it somewhere that he can snaffle to add to this lot.

Well now, I ask you, a girl has to powder her nose, yes?

Beardyman!

Genius.

Do What, John?

All together now:

(Music)

Do what John? Do what John?
Come again do what?
Do what John? Do what John?
Do what? Do what? Do what?
Do where John? Do where John?
With what, with whom and when?
Trific realy trific,
Pardon, come again?

Honestly I think I'll be singing that all day.

Serendipity brought me to Eric Idle's site! Heres another, more of a cautionary tail, or perhaps a moral with nobs on, NSFW. Well, it tickles me, but thats enough of that.