I've been playing with divination cards this morning.
Just saying that here feels so daring - I have Christian friends who would listen to the end, keep an open mind, keep testing, and yet I have others, whom I love dearly, who would shut up shop at the first words on this post, being so fearful and so certain that nothing good can come of it, that there are some things we should forever avoid, for fear for our immortal souls. I have been browbeaten by that threat of exorcism, (possibly not from God but from community, from acceptance), far too long. Sometimes you are one of the forgiven, until you are not. Until you are scary. Such is the weakness of us all.
All I can say to them, is Ummin and Thummin, guys, or Jonah's drawing of straws; not to mention Samaritans and loving your neighbour.
End of ego-based digression.
I asked my God, my connection to all that is, to the Greater Power, to the source of Love (which is the source of light, which is the source of all matter) to allow a card to fall from the oracle pack I'd bought.
Just for fun.
Just for a lark.
Just sort of "Go on then, God, my old mate, I'm game for a laugh, tell me what I'm supposed to do today, because I want to do X and I ought to do Y and I really can't face even starting on Z"
And I received: Talk To Your Angels, with the tagline 'Instead of worrying, ask for Divine guidance'.
"Whoa, hang on there a minute", thinks I, "that's what I was doing when I asked for a card, doh."
But then something inside said 'Shut your eyes'. So I shut them, here in my messy dining room with my husband's radio show blasting out from the stereo around the corner, and the noise was loud and the light was bright and so I put my hands to my eyes to let the dark come in. The dark is the best backdrop for unsighted sight, yes?
And I found myself looking directly into the eyes of an angel, they were there right in front of mine, and they took my breath away. And as I marvelled at the beauty and the intimacy, I realised that the angel was kissing me. I was locked in an eternal, timeless, kiss with an angel and breathing only by the grace of God. My existence is a gift and reliant on the source of Love. And then I felt another angel's arms around be from behind and I am held up by the power of God too, lifted and protected and equipped, and in that brief moment I knew with all certainty that nothing, nothing in this world or the next could get to me except by the grace of God and so all of it is blessing, is gift.
And then, being human, I shook my head and retracted myself from this vision, back into the so-called-real world before a breath had passed; worked hard to ground myself by suspecting what I saw, patting down my ego for signs of swellings and lumps of self importance, and decided, what the hey, I don't want to forget this one in a hurry, so it'll do as a blog post, it'll get me off the hook for something to write, today, too, and so its a blessing anyway, whatever it was.
Such, I repeat, is the weakness of us all, but whether we know it or not, we are lifted up ;-)