Since he moved in the year after my heart attack, (when I was still desperately lethargic and ready to cry for sleep) and began a refurbishment that would take two very loud years, he has systematically boxed his house in, by putting up 2 metre fences on all sides, even replacing fence previously owned by his neighbours. Its okay.
Its okay that his poor wife thought my darling hedgehogs were rats. I suppose if she sees something snuffling in a bin bag at night, she's conditioned to make assumptions. God bless her, she must have lived in some rough places. Its okay that he was so outraged on her behalf that he told all of our neighbours that we 'had rats, probably nesting in the front garden bushes' before asking. Its not like the hedgehogs or even the local fox come by, any more, not now he's replaced the fence baseboards with concrete panels and blocked the runs which were there, well, forever. The wildlife was a blessing, reminding me every year how grateful I was to be out of the city.
Its okay, now, that he genuinely thought the idea of warning the neighbours of new building works was a ridiculous idea and that not warning the sick woman was funny and a bit of a win.
So far he's put in his 2m fence so that my kitchen now looks out on that instead of the road. Then he's used sealant and screws to add a foot of angled UPVC to the top. Its okay. It waters my plants. Its okay that he's built a huge shed backing on to our other connecting fence at the back, so close that the roof tips over on this side. Again, it waters my plants. What bugs me is this.
I can't quite believe my eyes. I mean, tell me why would a man in his sixties get on his new shed roof in the middle of a snowy night and chop at the neighbour's bushes? Did he? Did he really? Look at it, its practically a tree, its been there since before we moved in 15 years ago. Its a sticky-up wisteria or something with a w, holding up two different, beautiful and highly scented honeysuckles. Instead of taking off the odd tendril leaning over his side (there were none, his worker removed them when the shed was going up), he's hacked, and I mean hacked half the branches away even though there's no way they were touching the boundary.
I worry for his health on all three levels, physical, mental, spiritual, but I confess to withering a little under the weight of so much animated hatred aimed in my direction. I was working so hard to project peace and goodwill back to him, I was doing my very best to genuinely love his higher self for living such an angry miserable life just to help others grow spiritually. I have grown and changed and strengthened beyond recognition, out of necessity, because of the gift of Ernest Fricker as a neighbour. I was beginning to sense the peace of that instead of the black cloud of fury and territorial feudalism he projects.
My sending love and light doesn't seem to be agreeing with his digestion. I shall try harder.
4 comments:
Crikey. I think you are walking the higher path but there is a part of me that thinks WTF does this guy need reporting. I think you are right that he has full scale animosity towards your side of the fence, and I feel slightly sorry for him as I would have thought this is not doing him any good on any level.
What about some sort of community mediation scheme. Anything like that in the area that could help?
A part of me would go completely nuts living with someone like that next door. Laughing at his antics would be the best medicine .... however, actively chopping into your side of the fence - there has to be a law against it?
I could take him to court. He owns his property and I rent mine which puts us on a very uneven footing as my landlord's current attitude is less than supportive.
A better option would be to put up a piece of trellis so that he could see clearly what was on his side of that, and find it impossible to reach the rest, but as trellis now counts as fencing, even if not permanent, and as his fence is already the maximum allowed height (so I'd have to go higher) I would need to find £175 for a planning application. Quite honestly, I think he was looking for a reaction and the best response is no response at all. After that, if he wants to crawl on the sloping roof of a cheap shed illegally hotwired into the house mains electricity by a cable hanging in mid air between that and his garage; well, all I can do is pray he doesn't go as far as killing himself. xxx
What exactly has he said that indicates animosity specifically toward you?
In the program the prayer for this situation would be "God, bless him; God, fix me."
I've enjoyed catching up! I hope you continue to write here!
Zilla I love that. I definitely concur with the program. We can only ever be active in fixing ourselves, although when that's genuine I find that the universe steps up to meet you and more is healed than it is possible to take personal responsibility for fixing.
I have (had) cats. I was ill. He was not amenable to letting neighbours know when the noise was going to start again. He upset a lot of people. Being next door,with him trying to dismantle the fence belonging to this property, it was impossible not to cross his path, when Gary was away. He assumed I was a single mother and he seems to have certain opinions of women in general. I think in his head I may have been blamed for complaints made by others. Last time I went outside and asked him to confirm he wasn't planning to dig up the concrete post that my side gate swings from, he lost it in front of workmen, screamed at me to get (my one foot) off his property, waved his banana-fingered fist in my face and went a very funny colour. I said "Mr Fricker please stop, you'll give one of us a heart attack" to which he replied "I fucking hope its you" at the top of his voice. I believe that at that point the workmen refused the job and left.
He took a hilltop bungalow and built right up to the property line so that his current handyman has to knock for permission, and park his step ladder right outside my kitchen door to mend next door's lean-to car-port. I am nice to this workman, he's a decent sort. In return he apologises for being associated with Mr next door, pointing out continued malice which I had managed to be ignorant of.
Its his health issue and I have worked on myself until I don't feel cowed, until I am spiritually strong enough to reflect it back, with love, and as I said, I thank him for being my fast track training in working on fixing myself. At one point I was close to cracking up and he was having fun making me burst into tears and look like the crazy lady, especially when my cat came home missing fur like he was burned in one of next door's all day builders-rubble bonfires, when the elderly cat became ill and started losing hair with stress and needed vitamin shots, when one of them took to following us down the road sooner than stay home, and got run over. All because he refused to warn me so I could keep them indoors.
There. Maybe I do have some small associated heartache to do some more tapping on. Thank you xxx
(Well, you asked!)
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