09 April 2007

Christian Stuff.

Yeah well, its Easter. Suck it up. *hee-hee*

I ended up visiting a Christian friend by accident, yesterday and any who know God will chuckle because the phrases 'Christian' and 'by accident' just don't go in the same sentence.

If you are surrounded by happy clappy types who are faking it til they 'make' it - fixed grins and squeaky choruses with a whole lot of arm waving, whilst simultaneously (and some might say, miraculously) ramming chunks of bible down your throat, then you may not know what I mean at all. Being under bombardment can make observation difficult as well as thoroughly unattractive.

Still, the more ordinary, quiet, grubby and obviously imperfect Christian tends to live life on, ooh, do you know tarot? We live it stuck on the five of pentacles. Yup I was going to insert a picture but you know how to Google.

See, I resent many interpretations of that card that lay it on with a trowel about how poor, disabled and sickly the recipients are, because that's not the point at all, they are simply hoi polloi, the working class, the ordinary, of the masses. They are just in the shit same as the rest of us, really.

To get back on track, its lovely when God or whatever you call his instruments (guardian angel, guide, memory, subconscious etc etc etc) *ahem* its lovely when He drops a thought or a line of a tune into your mental lap. It always casts new light on a current issue or simply resolves it; so you know that when He arranges an unplanned meeting with others in the same boat, that one of you is going to get something out of it, whether for yourself or to pass along.

See, we're not all boastful and full of it and always on self-made pedestals shouting how much God could do for you "if only...", the inference there being that 'he's doing it for me mate, so I'm better than you'. Most of us are so far up to our necks in the crap of daily life that we KNOW god holds the thin thread from heaven that's keeping our mouths above the waterline. None of us feel the urge to stare at him in the hopes that we will be hoisted higher. Most of us cast him grateful glances whilst using the extra support to get on with ploughing through the crud.

I swear.

Fuck, fuckety fuck, fuck. Had you noticed? I love it, its very therapeutic. I also support people no matter whether God gave their heart and their crotch matching genders. Lasciviousness comes in all shapes and sizes and I don't mean that. I mean the underdogs. Don't you dare tell me I am disqualified from Heaven for that; don't you go playing Pharisee on me.

Back to tea with my Christian friend. We hadn't gone to Church, I'd had a blazing row with the other half who was methodically stripping wallpaper even though the room looked like a bombsite before he started and I upped and promised the kids a trip to the beach.
The temperature just had to go and drop three or four degrees in the fifteen minutes we took to walk almost all the way to the sea.

Whose house were we nearest? Who did my son ask to visit?


I asked her if she knew the Ship Of Fools, a wonderfully funny Christian site with a 'Signs and Blunders' section and links to lots of really awful stuff you can buy like the bobble headed Jesus and other joyful atrocities. I was going to say that the site is all jest and no edification but now I look again, I have fallen in love with their patron saint, St Simeon, who was in to farting on Holy days, streaking and jigging around with the dancing girls. My kinda guy.

She wasn't aware of the site at all, but countered with high praise for one called Porpoise Diving - so much that I wrote the name on my hand to make sure I didn't forget. Possibly my enthusiasm for a bit of solid enlightenment was what made me feel so crushed when I eventually found the place, because its not what I was looking for.

Here it is.

It might be for you. It is more likely to be for you if you live in America, permanently browbeaten by the Hallelujah - high five - have a great day brigade, if some idiot with a loudspeaker has convinced you that you might be a Christian, but you ain't Christian enough.



Jo said...

"I also support people no matter whether God gave their heart and their crotch matching genders."

You certainly do, my friend.

'There are in the end three things that last: faith, hope, and love, and the greatest of these is love.' (1 Corinthians: 13)

I am shown love by you and by others. Whether you, or they, are Christian, Hindu, Rastafarian, whether you or they believe in a God or not, doesn't matter. What matters is compassion. You make a big difference in my life Cheryl. It may only be words, it may be remote, but it's real and it's strong and it helps a great deal.

You'll know why I'm writing this if you read the latest words I have written today, before reading your post. I find something very powerful and consoling in coming here to read your words today, when I really needed it, entirely unexpectedly. But then, God's like that. As you said.

On the subject of love, and Christian sites...try this one:


My kind of site. Some very powerful words on St Paul, and love. My kind of forgiving, inclusive Christianity.

And yes, I love Ship of Fools too :-)

Atyllah said...

Aunt Aggie would tell you that the human preoccupation with God is entirely alarming and that humanity would be far better off just learning to be. But that's Aunt Aggie. Me, well, in our henhouse we were warned never to talk sex, politics or religion - such discussions have been known to cause wars.

chosha said...

I am going to have so much fun in that Gadgets for God section next Christmas. There is some fun stuff there. :)

fineartist said...

On swearing, damn right it's cathartic.

Holy people I dig, holier than thou people, not so much. I think too, if someone is preaching to me about a particular issue it's usually because THEY need to hear something in their own message some times.

I hear ya, I don't buy into the philosophy that those who have it easy, though I don't know many of them, or those who claim to be more holy than someone else, have it that way, or are that way, because they are more in God's favor, nope.

And yeah, I tend to be really grateful that God keeps at least one of my ores in the water for me, and even though I find myself going in circles often, it's usually because I have to do something for myself too, like learn why I'm going in circles and what I have to do to make it right.

Just my two cents, but if someone claims to be more holy, more of a Christian, they've got something to prove to themselves, and I don't generally enjoy hashing it over with them.

Kick axe post Cheryl, and I think you are plenty holy. xx, Lori