07 March 2007

Brain farts are a sign of life

Yesterday's post (was the last one done yesterday?) *cough* may be written off as a brain fart.

Nonetheless this is acknowledged to be outrageously good news. The depths of my brain are, apparently, moving, and producing, err, things. Said organ was generally considered to be either terminally constipated or dead, and we have broken an impasse. As I write, several dozen previously warring neurologists, pathologists and professional experts are enjoying a jovial cup of tea and comparing fees. The judge is in the cupboard taking Valium and Smarties washed down with un-peated Magilligan Single Malt.

My proctologist is mad at everybody. Yes folks, in the recent silence I have been off to see the man with the bendy camera and the bicycle pump; he of the latex gloves and scary index finger, with the lifetime supply of industrial grade KY.

He is mad because apparently my GP should have known about statins and their (allegedly well known) side effects.

I am happy because at the pre-op weigh in, one of the nurses casually remarked that a lot of people on the same meds as me also take a water tablet.

That was it. Go back to my GP and ask? You must be joking. I went to Boots and bought herbal ones.

In one day I could see blood vessels on my feet.
In two, I could see my knuckles.
In three my husband said my face looked thinner.
In four I'd lost half a stone and counting.
In five, my brain started to function once more.

So, please, turn around, touch the ground, touch wood, cross yourselves and wish hard on my account, because if I can regain cognitive speed on any reliable basis I may decide to change the world.

Starting with a change of doctors, I think.

13 comments:

Badaunt said...

Ooh! I'm not on, er, statins (what are they?) but I'm collecting water like mad. My acupuncturist noticed my ankles were a bit watery (not quite swollen, but sort of puffy and not normal) and said, wisely, "Water circulation problem." Problem is the herbal medicine he gave me isn't working very quickly, and they're still puffy. I think this water circulation problem is what's causing the cysts.

So my question is this: what herbal tablets are you using? I don't want these things to get any bigger!

Cheryl said...

HRI Water Balance - mostly dandelion root. I have to admit I have switched to nettle tea which could also be helping.

Le laquet said...

You just need to remember to wee before any significant journeys!

Sidhe said...

The world will be better when you are running it, so I'm wishing hard for you and for all of us. Three cheers for water-pills!

Steg said...

*does Happy Dance*

Milt said...

You're sounding pretty healthy to me Cheryl.
Hope the herbal tablets continue to do the trick.

Atyllah said...

Here's a funny one, drinking lots of water can also help reduce water retention.
And don't even talk to me about men with long hosepipes and latex gloves.
By the way, the chicken has tagged you for meme.

Rain said...

I'm glad your health is improving, Cheryl.

Doris said...

Wow - fabulous news.

How ridiculous too: a chance remark from a nurse at the scales and you pro-actively going to the chemist to seek an alternative...

I am so thrilled for you. We had better get our seatbelts on ;-)

zilla said...

Good for you!

fineartist said...

Oh kids, Cheryl's BAaaaaaCK...

I knew you would figure out what was messing you up, it's what we all have to do for the most part, figure out what's wrong with us and then tell them how to treat us, damn it.

Right on Cheryl, just watch those stones roll off and down the hill now, the bastards.

I've been doing home improvement projects every night after work, out of necessity, because so much around here has been screaming for attention, and I didn't do any of it last year because I kept thinking I'd have to save any extra money for my Europe trip and then ended up putting most of that expense on my smoking credit card and still didn't do any home improvement to speak of, and amazingly my ass is starting to crawl back down off my back to where it belongs. Yippee for assess that stay put, and fit into chairs and stuff.

love ya, mean it, and right on herbal water pills, right on!

Jo said...

Rockin Cheryl :-) You know I hadn't noticed any malfunction in the razor sharp mind, only maybe that it had been around a touch more sporadically of late?

Proof that herbal meds work then? I'll ring Price Charles :-)

Writer Mom said...

And like THAT, the answer is clear and simple.
Figures you'd have to bend over and take a finger before getting a helpful heads up on what's been going on.
So I guess he (snubby doctor) could still accuse you of over eating water?

(I think I fall in Zilla's cynical category when it comes to modern medicine these days.)

I haven't scrolled up to find out if a new doctor has been found, but I'm so relieved to read you've found some answers (and relief?) and are no longer being treated like you're crazy (about this topic, anyway).

*Thanks for stopping by with your support the other day, too. Especially with all this going on in your life. It meant a lot.