Tagging me is goooood as it absolves me from creativity or the need for an original thought. Tag on.
I tag: everybody who is kind enough to still visit, seeing as how you could have heard a pin drop in here, recently.
Something purple within 5 feet of you:
The packet for my statins
How long can you hold your breath underwater?
The weirdest thing you've ever heated in the microwave?
Chestnuts. Lie them on their backs. As the steam builds up inside one, it starts to escape from the pointy end making them whizz round in circles on the spot, faster and faster until they explode.
How much Japanese do you know?
Escarator and Erebator. Honestly.
What? Have I got any? Do I know any? Can you phrase your question into a sentence? All my sparkly things are in a box in the garage. They're called last year's Xmas decorations. My daughter loves sparkly things, but she's only ten and likes pink too.
Ever crash a car, been in accidents?
Once hit by a seagull on the windscreen, which slid slowly down and off the car. I didn’t know they had tongues and his expression was right out of a cartoon. Wulfie wrote that but I was in that car too. From my position it seemed to have a murderous looke on its face as it approached, like it thought it could win. A possessed seagull.
Do you look good in yellow?
The right yellow, yes. This must have been written by a bloke because all us girls know there are warm yellows and sallow yellows and cold yellows and bold yellows and pastel yellows and neon yellows and powdery yellows and good grief - could you be specific? Banana? Grapefruit? Winter sunset? WHAT?
Do you sing?
Ever sang in front of a crowd?
Yup. Dance school shows (I was Dorothy one year, c/w gingham frock & pigtails), Butlins talent comps in my teenage years (cringe, but big halls). I was four when I won the talent comp at the Southall carnival for performing 'How much is that doggy in the window' at the long disappeared bandstand, with people all on wooden foldaway chairs.
Do you dance?
Yup. Had to. Docs told mum I was going to end up with one leg longer than the other. She's always insisted she took Thalidomide ("Only 1!" she says) whilst carrying my brother, not me, but they were banned by then. I escaped being too lopsided and grew giant interlocking roots on my teeth instead which makes dentistry a pig. I mean - try getting a 3cm root drill into a back tooth without chipping another one with the back of the drill, or tearing the corner of the mouth. Some of them have 3 roots each, some have four. Oh God, you didn't want to know that. So, yes, from age 2 1/2: tap, ballet and modern dance until I was sixteen, by which time I had the bug and was also very much in demand for being able to stand up and tuck one knee behind my head at the same time. I have no idea why. Now I can't hear music without moving in time to the beat, which makes walking across large foyers acutely embarrassing. I go round the edges instead, trying not to look like I'm taking the piss out black teenage boys.
Is your hair long enough to chew on?
Least favourite colour?
Pantone green - that strong blue-green that was back with a fury during that latest 80s revival.
Favourite kind of pizza?
Spicy hot one if going cheap and local, or else by preference Pizza Express - they put loads of toppings on in front of you, you know theres not going to be a swamp of sugary tomato sauce underneath and they are also light on the cheese.
Ever had Dippin' Dots?
No but I had German Measles
Ever played an instrument?
Do you own your own car?
Nope, but now the dual fuel cars are becoming more popular I could be sorely tempted.
What kind of car is it?
Told you I don’t have a car, don’t you listen?
Do you want to get married?
That would be bigamy. Very bigamy, as one's enough. Snigger.
At what age do you want to have kids?
When they're cuddly and then not until they're all grown up, please.
How many kids?
Depends on who's paying and who's got to do the packed lunches.