22 September 2006

Wee Wee All The Way Home

Or piddle-I-fo.

Or Weeee, bang. Yup that's probably it.

Sorry, I am laughing myself silly at this article, even though I am a whole week late finding it.

See, what do you do (at least if you believe the movies), if you feel you will fail an essential urine test? Why, you scrounge a clean sample from someone else.

What do you do if said substance was handed over hours before you need to appear to produce? Obviously you find a way to warm it up to blood temperature.

However, asking the clerk at the roadside store to shove it in the hot food microwave is thoughtless and unhygeinic.

Hiding the liquid in a soft rubbery casing and microwaving the lot is plain stupid, and asking for a big mess.

When that 'casing' just happens to be a dildo/fake penis, then that's just begging for international mockery, (and it has to be said that hiring a defence attorney with a name like something out of the Rocky Horror Show smacks of looking for a book deal).

I have questions; I mean, are all fake do-wanglers toys, or are there also ornamental ones? Why would there be ornamental ones? (Don't answer.)

Why would a woman take her male friend's urine and smuggle it in to a clinic in a mock trouser snake? Was she aiming to waggle it from her fly and pretend, or was this just her idea of fun? Why am I asking these questions?



Abby said...

That is a weird story, one that begs several more questions. I hope it comes out in book form!

zilla said...

I always wondered what a dildo was for.


Stegbeetle said...


Haven't heard that one before!

Cheryl said...

You need a kind of Dorset accent, or Somerset.

Nau than, yew put that do-wangler back in thar kecks.

beckyboop said...

I personally don't think we should call it a dildo or a do-wangler. We should call it a Difenderfer in honor of the defense attorney.

Atyllah said...

That's it, human beans are certifiable.

The store clerk probably thought he had Lorena Bobbit Mark 2 on his hands, prospective movie rights were probably flashing like dollar signs through his mind...