06 July 2006

We fade to grey

The following is snaffled from another blogger (Wulfweard). Its doing the rounds, and so it should.


Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that as an observant Orthodox Jew homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned in any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

19 comments:

Billy said...

Yes, the Bible is bollocks. Well spotted.

Raggedy said...

Amen.
Have a wonderful day!

*^_^
(=':'=) meow hugs
(")_ (")Š from da Raggedy one
*

Cheryl said...

Ah Billy
But
Leviticus works as a bunch of rules for staying healthy in that day and age and that climate.
Menses inside the camp, spunk on the floor, a bit of mildew, anal sex, all a bit dodgy in a hot place with no disinfectant or antibiotics?

Billy said...

I totally agree. I've always regarded Judaism as a system of hygiene rather than a religion. It's truly astounding that anyone adheres to it these days.

doris said...

It is certainly thought provoking. I am sure there are those who can justify the archaic parts of the bible whilst accepting the bits they want to fuel their argument.

Cheryl said...

Billy
(thank you for the reply by the way) If thats agreed, then you have to ask who exactly gave this fledgling nation all these detailed intructions for health and longevity that seemingly nobody else knew? The OT is quite blatant that these behaviours should set them apart as being blessed by God (ie unusually free of unexplained illness aka curses), but was it God who composed the list? If it was a human genius, how unusual would it be to have someone take political and religious power like that without doing the whole despot thing? Moreso if they were really bright?
Or am I getting too intense for a Friday? :-)

Speaking of intense:

Doris!
Thats the second day in a row that you've made a definitive statement of personal opinion, without bothering to dress it up with a velvet glove. Yay for you!
Forthright can be fun, between friends. I like.

Billy said...

Were the Jews especially healthy in those days? I didn't know that.

One can't use the Bible as empirical evidence to support any argument (unless one is insane, of course) since none of it can be verified, particularly the Old Testament.

Did Jesus actually live? There's not a shred of evidence that he did. Despite the Romans excellent reputation for record-keeping, he doesn't rate a mention.

And just who is this God character you mention, and why would he favour Jews over anyone else? Has he not heard of diversity policy?

And does he continue to bless them, I wonder, as they rain their bombs and bullets upon the children of Gaza?

Cheryl said...

Touche!
Who's to say? I just love a debate. Completely with you on the last bit.

doris said...

LOL I'm obviously too rushed to put on the velvet gloves and do them up!

And Billy: "One can't use the Bible as empirical evidence to support any argument" I would dispute this a bit... if one can do it just a shade! There are arguments concerning physical events in the Bible such as the flood and other goings on in the sky. These are intrepretated as God's wrath and whatever, but these physical occurances often mimic goings on in myths, legends and other religions. So, just to be devil's advocate, I think there are exceptions and the Bible can be used towards evidence.

zilla said...

ROFLMAO

Jo said...

Yep. Spot on. People who pull out pieces of the Bible to justify their particular deep seated bigotry make me soooooo tired. You'd think they would have just about worked out that the two main arguments they use...

1. It's in the Bible so it must be true (like all the other stuff in this excellent letter is also in the Bible, and there's so much more era specific nonsense too) and

2. The Bible is God's word, so there is it is(the Bible was written by men,often many years after the events some books describe took place (if they did at all), and the versions we have have been through countless translations, from Aramaic or Greek to Latin, to English or whatever. And the Bible was actually put together by a conclave of Bishops who decided what would be 'in' and what would be 'out' in the 4th century. During this there was extensive trading/lobbying/revision etc)

...are just soooo weak.

beckyboop said...

The devoted disciple and adoring fan, without a doubt, made his point with a dagger. Dr Laura is such a bigot...

I would love to debate the Bible. However, I just have not studied it enough. I do believe in God. I just can't follow the Bible blindly. What I have read, has many inconsistancies. I personally have my own religion. I like to call it "the Becky religion". Just try to be the best person you can be. It is also good to be clean and such. There ya go, two commandments... I hope I'm not struck by lightning for blaspheme.

beckyboop said...

Whoops! I meant inconsistencies. Isn't it a bummer when you misspell something and don't notice until you've posted it? I hate it when that happens.

fineartist said...

Wulfweard finds the most interesting stuff on the internet. How does he do that?

Abby said...

I find this problematic in that the author criticising is using the Bible (Leviticus) as if it is legal language and can be picked over and messed about with as if God is too stupid to know what people are trying to do. God is not stupid. The Bible is not legal language, it is God's message to his people about how they should live and for people trying to live holy lives it is very complicated trying to figure out God's will in their lives.

The arguments against homosexuality are very very complex and to try and reduce it to the "don't wear mixed fibres" argument is facetious and ignorant. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread on the debate about homosexuality. So I won't be a fool, but I just wanted to point out the above.

kelscraggly said...

Brilliant!! Insanely brilliant! I want to make all of my friends and fam read it!

Miss Cellania said...

I had this on one of my very first posts last year, but it was directed to George Bush. Very witty... sometimes I refer to a sin as being "on par with eating a ham sandwich." But Dr. Laura is SO hateful. She tears apart anyone who calls her show. I used to monitor her show every day. Made up a scenario:

Me: Dr. Laura, I am having trouble balancing work and time with my kids..

DL: So let your husband support you, and spend time with the kids.

Me: I am a single mother.

DL: Shame! You shouldn't have had children out of wedlock!

Me: They are adopted.

DL: Shame! You should never adopt as a single parent!

Me: I wasn't single at the time.

DL: Shame! On you for getting a divorce.

Me: I didn't. I'm a widow.

DL: Shame on you, for letting him die!

See, you just can't win. I don't understand why anyone ever calls her show.

Writer Mom said...

Miss Cellania's got Dr. Laura pegged.

The first time I heard Dr. Laura, Tom and I were driving through Arizona, just having left the Grand Canyon.
It was the only station.
She was telling a father it was his fault his daughter had been raped. The girl wanted an abortion, and he was uncomfortable with that choice, and Dr. Laura said the daughter must NOT get one, and it was his fault...getting into all these details how he'd let her go to a party where this had happened.
The guy was sobbing, worried his wife would leave him if he forced the daughter to have the baby and put it up for adoption..."You should have done the right thing to begin with and not let your daughter go to that party!"

Tom and I were so sick listening to her, we didn't say anything for several hours. She crapped on our Grand Canyon experience.

Which is kinda weird, because I believe Wulfweard really wants to go to the Grand Canyon, right?
DON'T TURN ON YOUR RADIO WHEN YOU GO!

phoenix said...

That is awesome! I'm going to use some of those the next time I run into an ignorant zealot!