There is yet another satellite channel available now, called UK TV Bright Ideas and as Husband was first up this morning we have as background noise an all day marathon of backdated episodes of the Antiques Roadshow, courtesy of said channel.
Occasionally in lieu of an advert they will slip in a 'bright idea' - a two minute mini programme on what you might like to do with a handful of fruit and a loaf tin.
Daughter, now ten, is on the sofa in a slumped state; a pre-breakfast morning fog. We have her disapproval. Its not our fault.
Its just that we both heard the lady on TV with the soft, Middle England voice, announce that we should "Beat the cream thoroughly until its stiff."
Well, what can I say? It must have been a very very bad bowl of cream. It should bend over. And say please.
So we both said so all at once and burst into fits of silly laughter like the seven year olds at the back of class.
Mercifully daughter didn't get it.
The TV moved swiftly on and just before the antiques programme came back on, the commentator suggested the viewers might take a feather duster to their trinkets.
I wasn't quick enough; I was too busy trying to hold in an explosion of new giggles. Husband, on the other hand, made a great deal about how good I was with a feather duster and could he get his trinkets out.
He has this way of making me double up - I think its the intelligence and wonderful intent that sparkles in his eyes while the rest of him does an impression of Les Dawson (for American friends thats the unintelligible one on the left).
He was heading towards me.
I was trapped.
I was flustered.
I had to beg him, between giggles and gulps of air, to stop it, or, or, or (think of a good 'or') or I'd wet myself.
It worked too well. He took that as a challenge and got worse, whereas Daughter, from her perch at the other end of the room, looked up, sighed, and announced in no uncertain terms that we are both disgusting and must pack it up at once.
Thank you daughter, I haven't cried laughing in a long time.
8 comments:
Isn't it strange how, to a 10-year-old, parents acting like "ordinary people" rather than like "Mum and Dad" is "disgusting".
All the UKTV channels on Sky are full of (what I assume are) unintentional double entendres with UKTV Food being among the worst. It's quality telly, though. I, for one, am perfecetly happy to watch Nigella Lawson talk about "working at it until it's stiff" with a knowing gleam in her eye or rhythmically kneading something. Hussy. Of course, Anthony Worrall Thompson doesn't have the same affect!
A great quote noticed taken out of context is truly an artform. On has to be intelligent and of a flexible mind to see a double entendres where one exists. [Either that or a real perv. :) ]
I love this story. Kids should see more of their parents acting that way. Then they have an idea of how all sides of relationships work.
Hope you changed your underwear. I can't wait to hear how you reverse the tables. :)
ROFL - I'm so glad we're not the only ones to have moments like that.
Love the way kids react to a bit of fun. They love it really :-)
Glad you're laughing, you naughty girl!
"made a great deal about how good I was with a feather duster and could he get his trinkets out."
Played by Colin Firth, and it's my new favorite romantic comedy.
*I'm with Stegbeetle. I watch Nigella for her sensuality. I particularly enjoy how she deep fries chocolate bars, then licks her fingers after placing them on a plate for her very lucky friends. I burn calories watching that woman.
Ten-year-old is gorgeous. It's best she stay prudish as long as possible. Maybe you should mortify her with these bits more often.
Cackling out loud here. I loved that!
I so seriously hope that daughter has no inkling of the fact that mummy and daddy ever did the deed to conceive her - that would the daughter outgrossed for the century!
Ah, children, how easily embarrassed by "disgusting" parents ;-)
I have a 15 year old picking up on every double entendre, wjich isn't so much fun, but I know what you mean, just haven't had anyone to share it with for a long time. Oh, blog url change again, not my fault this time. http://almostwrite.blogspot.com
I want to hang out with you guys.
And I actually got the les dawson clip to down load, a little. I like him, any guy who hefts around on his boobs like that, I tend to really like though. (I come from a long line of boob hefters and adjusters.)
My man and my daughter, they are wild about antiques road show. I always thought that was a little odd seeing them together engrossed in a show that, telling me to shoosh, quiet...I'll bet that's worth a fortune, what d'ya think?
My oldest son STILL would like to think he was created in a petri dish.
Hugs you, Lori
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