Or perhaps she means to ask what happened to me on the training and how I have changed.
Or even, how I came to decide that was what I wanted to become. That is the subject of this post.
To use an insufficient analogy (not enough dimensions), every major quantum change in a linear, human life is kind of like a pebble dropped into a pond. The 'major event' presents as a crux, but, looking back, (once you know what you're looking for) its always possible to see ripples that precede the change, preparations, serendipitous coincidences, LoA, God preparing the soil.... call it what you like.
That's why its impossible now to state with any certainty 'why' I did this training, it feels more as if I was called to it, simply because so many doors opened without my intention or knowing participation..
- I don't know why, how or when I became interested in tapping at all.
- I don't know how many years I had Gary Craig's newsletter sent to my email inbox, when I was always too busy to click the links, or even open most of them before trashing the lot to make space. Gary invented EFT.
- I think (THINK) it was discovering that Gary's website had closed and all the articles I intended to read but never had were now removed, that fired up my indignation and set me searching for snippets through Google, suddenly, contrarily determined to learn all about it just because it seemed someone was daring to dictate my options.
- I KNOW it was Gary taking care to stress (in a clip on youtube?) that this is not faith healing, that the client does not need to be calm, nor even remotely enthusiastic for it to work, that made the difference between following this up or consigning it to the pile labelled hocus-pocus mashed-potato-brain new-age tripe. I was allowed to walk into this thinking it was all rubbish and it was STILL supposed to do the job. That was a reassurance and a challenge, all at once. All my old buttons got pushed.
- So I asked a question of the only person in my facebook friends who had EFT in their name - Karl. I have no earthly idea how he came to be on my list at all, but there he was.
- And I bought a book from Amazon about what I thought was a branch of EFT - and then realised the guy smiling on the back of the cover was..... Karl.
- So I went to his website, and lo and behold, the very weekend that I landed on his page, he had just landed a bus ride away from me and was training people. I couldn't afford it, I couldn't go anyway because it had started, and I couldn't sigh and rationalise my feelings on the basis of it being 'too far away anyway'. Hooked!
After that I decided I was going to the next training, even before there was any clue where the money was coming from. I did overtime and walked a lot more for the three months I had, and was about £100 short when my mother decided to confess that she'd been angry at one of my children a year earlier and had cut me out of a matured savings bond, all of which she gave to my two brothers, as revenge. Thanks mum. So she chucked me a grand to make up for it. Revenge, love, ownership, friendship, reliability, even familial politeness, they've always been all about money, to my mum, and most of my life has been about proving her wrong to the other extreme. Or, in some more damaging way, proving her right. I don't even visit any more even though I love her desperately, because she expresses her excitement by phoning the world and his dog to tell them how much work I'm causing her and how much its going to cost her. Its her way of feeling important. But I digress.
I hardly needed the money by then, and spent it un-notching the proverbial belt and restocking the cupboards which had suffered through my extra economy drive, but it was one huge hint-with-a-housebrick from the Universe that I was supposed to go on this course, and not chicken out at the last minute. No excuses left, not one.
So that's how come I got there.
2 comments:
Funny eh, how often unrelated events seem to fall together at once and become meaningful for you ;-)
So glad you got there! ;-)
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