12 September 2007

Things I Learned Yesterday

God Bless Anita. Completely beside the point, but it had to be said.


Yesterday I learned that:
  • There are three farms and between Bishopstone Village and Denton.
  • The one nearest the coast is not really a farm any longer but stables.
  • The one on the brow of Rookery Hill, where you can see for miles, has a very gentle and indifferent herd of brown cattle.
  • The one down into the valley, nestled in beside the ancient village church, is owned by a proper gentleman, a Mr White, who is very welcoming and will allow locals to ignore the official footpaths and simply cut across his land wherever they will; so long as they respect it; a wonderful piece of information which is very slightly tainted by the fact that
  • his cattle are quite possibly possessed.
Seriously, he has a herd of large, black and white creatures that spend their days aspiring to be the Vicky Pollards of the bovine world. Have you ever seen perambulating beef look like it was loitering with intent? Cross their patch and they will chase you. On the run. Even if you are the gentle, retired lady replete with tweed a-line skirt, who was just nipping to church for a spot of flower arranging.

I no longer feel like quite such an idiot for making a stiff and sudden u-turn in the middle of a meadow, under the gaze of a dozen sleepy cottages and two dozen large and very dissaproving cows.


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One other thing I learned - if you start to import your blog to your facebook notes, posts are uploaded retrospectively, and it goes back an awfully long way.........

7 comments:

Greg said...

Anything that big can be alarming. Mind you I was once stared down by a ram in the Peak District!

*resists the temptation to make some smart-arse remark about "mad cows"*

Jennifer said...

Giggling over the visuals...

Jo said...

Guess those cows are going to be looking just a bit less nonchalant now...after latest events in Egham :-(

Hon...need your email to invite you into my new site!

Naomi said...

To quote Opus of Bloom County: If you're due a cow smooch, avoid those cow lips!

Sounds like the u-turn/retreat was prudent ...

Unknown said...

I have only rarely trusted cows... have you ever taken a close look in their eyes...? The intent is to do to all humans what some humans did to their Spanish cousins. Ole! Can't say I blame the cows one bit.

alpharat said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you for introducing me to Vicky Pollard!

Badaunt said...

Are you sure they're cows? Not bulls? Bulls are usually the ones who chase.

Unless they're FRIENDLY. Friendly cows can be alarming. Steers, too. (I can't believe it's more than two years ago I posted that story.)