29 June 2007

The thing about this blog

We all know the secret joy of diary blogging.

When I say that this is me, but at the same time its not, my regular blog friends will understand completely.

I wouldn't wander around naked in the supermarket; that's behaviour for behind closed doors. Similarly I wouldn't swear like a trooper, joke about sex or voice my more strident (if passing) opinions in the physical world - those are intensely liberating delights I've discovered here, that will remain here, in blogdom.

If I already had a job, this wouldn't be an issue. I am just rather concerned that if you combine the right name and geographical info, this blog can be found by anyone looking to find me, and whilst one might not Google one's existing colleagues, a potential newbie is fair game.

Lets just say that most of the content here is NOT what I would use as interview material.

Working from home (as I have done, on and off for a good few years) can, in some cases, be a right royal cop-out, by which I mean that the primary luxury of such an arrangement can also be the main drawback.

See, you get set up, and then someone contracts you (very clearly and specifically) to adopt a responsibility or complete a piece of work.

You get the (clearly defined) work.
You do the work.
You send it back.

Obviously you can have several clients/contractors and there's often some face to face contact in there, then the rather pleasant matter of payment and even warm, positive feedback, but essentially things are decorous, plain, clean, professional. Constantly.

I miss the mess of working for an organisation, of working with, beside, or in spite of the team. I miss other people's bad hair days and I miss being visible during my own. I find I am more creative and more inclined to develop as a person in a less predictable environment.

I miss the whole social melee, not to mention the externally enforced routine that forbids me to 'just do a little bit more' at eleven o'clock at night (the curse of all self-motivated self-employed). There are some cases (and mine is one) where working for oneself isn't particularly fair on the children.

So I am looking for a job. This may take some time as I have very narrow and specific requirements, but that just means its even more important to bury the blog, because every chance counts.

I'll be in here cataloguing my posts, reorganising, and removing incriminating details before deciding whether to download the lot and wipe this site clean, or whether I have made this bland enough to escape a half hearted name search.

In one respect I am lucky - most of my namesakes are either scientists or porn stars. I can see the attraction in both vocations. Its just that none of them live here.

Grief this is going to be hard - blogging is more than an addiction; its a community, a life. Giving up isn't like moving town either - you'll all still be there.


Oh, and hugs. xxx


ZBTzahBTzoo said...

Good luck with the job search. I for one will still be dropping by whenever bloglines alerts me to some stirring over here. If you do have to vacate completely, permanently, please keep in touch & I'll do the same.

fineartist said...

If someone were to not hire you over anything you have expressed in this blog, or any other, then they would be a fool,

but I completely understand.

Ditto what Zbt said.

xxx, Lori Should I remove some linkeage? Would that help?

I hope you save your writings, they're 'brilliant', as you would say. And I mean that.

Steg said...

I hear what you're saying. I go through the old "lack of anonymity" trauma every time I blog or receive a comment.
I hope you can find a way to reconcile your blogging with your "real life" as I'd miss reading you, as would many others. Bloggers as erudite, intelligent, perceptive and funny as your good self aren't ten-a-penny, you know!

Badaunt said...

Work is one of the reasons I have done my best to remain anonymous, and while I don't remember you blogging anything that might compromise your job search I do understand your worry.

If you do decide to delete, you will start again under a different name, WON'T YOU? And let your regular addic- readers know where you are, WON'T YOU?

Anyway, I'm glad you're back, and good luck with the job search!

Library Lady said...

I understand completely, Cheryl, that is why my blog is done under a pseudonym.

At the same time if any organization you work for can't look at your writings and appreciate what a smart, THINKING woman you are, they aren't worth your time!

Best of luck in the job search.

Doris said...

A really wise move I can quite understand. Anonymising the blog can be done and is worth doing. As one who had copied and pulled all her blog and then after some months found I missed the joys, and missed some of those excellent posts and responses, I have re-instated it. That was a load of blinking work... so don't remove it from your blog system (like I did) and just sanitise. Still a lot of work though.

As for the job I can understand. As you know I too work at home, for myself (but luckily so does hubby so I am not alone) and there are times I yearn for the workplace environment. That going out and doing a job well at a set time and then finishing and switching off at an allotted time. I've even exclaimed whether I should go out and get an evening bar job just to have a steady income of those extra quids each week!

Good luck and very best wishes with everything. You deserve some wonderful luck. :-)

Atyllah said...

Oh yeah, having flown the coop, so to speak, don't I just understand your dilemma all too well.
Good luck with the blogsearch, oops, I mean, job search.
And sending you love, pecks and flutters xxx

Astryngia said...

Wow - I couldn't work 'for' anyone ever again. I'd be impossible! I'd want everything MY way - or not at all!! I've worked in the freedom years for too long. All those silly arses who don't know nuttin' deciding what we all have to do...no thanks!

Workplaces make me work when I don't want to! I'd have to put work in front of child, emotions, health, strength, sleep...Not that anyone would employ me with my health problems.

A daily routine - OK; a secure (but pitiful) income - OK; the conflicts and fears of family life acted out anew with colleagues and authority figures. Eurgh! Shiver!

Are you sure about this?? ;-)

Mrs. G said...

I was anonymous on my old blog and then had to move and become even more anonymous because I got too free with inviting people, which cramped my style. But having someone from work on a personal blog is a different story - it's sad but true that sometimes people want to hurt other people, and status-quo people often really want to hurt opinionated people, so it's WISE (advisable, essential) to have separate compartments for work and blog.

HOWEVER ... I personally really miss you and hope you'll carry on writing in a new venue and let we the faithful and true come visit.

(ps: you know more about this than I do, but ... be really careful with this new gmail/blogger connection - always sign out whereever you are!)

Miss Cellania said...

I can SO relate... if I wasn't s busy at my stay-at-home job, I's be looking for an offline job, as I should. My biggest incentive is more moeny. And the kids and I are suffering from too much togetherness over the summer (while I try to get some work done).

Yes, I hope you continue to stay in touch, whatever you decide about the blog. And your writing is WAY too good to destroy! Just move it somewhere private for safekeeping.

beckyboop said...

I understand. I'll miss my English girlfreind's witt, intelligence, and some of the best advice I've ever heard or read!!!!

XXXOOO, Becky :)

ZBTzahBTzoo said...

I miss you.

Not trying to twist the knife of not-blogging guilt in your gut, just saying, I miss you, because I do.

I hope all is well in your neck of the woods...