We all know the secret joy of diary blogging.
When I say that this is me, but at the same time its not, my regular blog friends will understand completely.
I wouldn't wander around naked in the supermarket; that's behaviour for behind closed doors. Similarly I wouldn't swear like a trooper, joke about sex or voice my more strident (if passing) opinions in the physical world - those are intensely liberating delights I've discovered here, that will remain here, in blogdom.
If I already had a job, this wouldn't be an issue. I am just rather concerned that if you combine the right name and geographical info, this blog can be found by anyone looking to find me, and whilst one might not Google one's existing colleagues, a potential newbie is fair game.
Lets just say that most of the content here is NOT what I would use as interview material.
Working from home (as I have done, on and off for a good few years) can, in some cases, be a right royal cop-out, by which I mean that the primary luxury of such an arrangement can also be the main drawback.
See, you get set up, and then someone contracts you (very clearly and specifically) to adopt a responsibility or complete a piece of work.
You get the (clearly defined) work.
You do the work.
You send it back.
Obviously you can have several clients/contractors and there's often some face to face contact in there, then the rather pleasant matter of payment and even warm, positive feedback, but essentially things are decorous, plain, clean, professional. Constantly.
I miss the mess of working for an organisation, of working with, beside, or in spite of the team. I miss other people's bad hair days and I miss being visible during my own. I find I am more creative and more inclined to develop as a person in a less predictable environment.
I miss the whole social melee, not to mention the externally enforced routine that forbids me to 'just do a little bit more' at eleven o'clock at night (the curse of all self-motivated self-employed). There are some cases (and mine is one) where working for oneself isn't particularly fair on the children.
So I am looking for a job. This may take some time as I have very narrow and specific requirements, but that just means its even more important to bury the blog, because every chance counts.
I'll be in here cataloguing my posts, reorganising, and removing incriminating details before deciding whether to download the lot and wipe this site clean, or whether I have made this bland enough to escape a half hearted name search.
In one respect I am lucky - most of my namesakes are either scientists or porn stars. I can see the attraction in both vocations. Its just that none of them live here.
Grief this is going to be hard - blogging is more than an addiction; its a community, a life. Giving up isn't like moving town either - you'll all still be there.
Oh, and hugs. xxx