28 July 2005

My favourite phrases

Best said in a cold, sour, plummy British accent with slow and careful enunciation. Think Alan Rickman (Severus Snape.)

  1. Bugger this for a game of soldiers (Also Sod this, F*ck this)
  2. In your dreams, Sunshine/Sonnyboy/you steaming pile of (horsesh*t/bovine excrement)
  3. As much use as a chocolate poker
  4. You have, ooh, a snowball's hope in hell
  5. Scrota
  6. Fffffffffishcakes
  7. Well whoop-di-doo
  8. Darling I couldn't give a flying fart
  9. He's a sandwich short of a picnic
  10. And you're all that and a bag of chips
  11. Would you like grapes with that?
  12. Ohl f*ck-a-duck-a-day


Ally said...

I just stopped at 'think Alan Rickman' ... . What a nice way to start the morning! :).

Cheryl said...

Erm, blush, yes he's not bad, is he?

anniebee said...

I have to admit I'd seen your post first. There was a link to it from the BlinkList site. I love the list of expressions. Some that spring to mind are:
You can go and take a flying f*** at a rolling doughnut!
Wandering around like a tit in a trance.
Up and down like a tart's knickers (or whore's drawers).
Tuppence short of a shilling.
A few bricks short of a full load.
Who pissed on your fireworks?
As much use as a chocolate teapot (or an ashtray on a motorbike).

Cheryl said...

LOVE THEM! Forgot them!
In honour of the tart's knickers (a classic) - how do you tell when an Essex girl comes?

She drops her chips.

(I am allowed - all the in-laws live in Essex)

Chris Cope said...

My grandfather uses "Love a duck," which I am trying to teach myself to use.

Anonymous said...

Great stuff.

I like "tits" to express dismay in dire circumstances.

I also love "Chinaman's chance" to express unlikely odds. It's and oldie.

anniebee said...

Yes, I've heard the chip dropping one - I think you just change the Essex bit. How about this - Why does an Essex girl wear knickers? To keep her ankles warm in winter! I love wordy things. One of my friends cracks up when I come out with various sayings. Maybe I'll post a few more on my blog.

fineartist said...

Cheryl, I'll bet you are fun as heck to hang with!

I was in a nursing home / care center awhile back and this extremely old angelic looking woman kept screaming ad nauseum, son of a bitch, son of a bitch, son of a bitch….you get the idea. Anyway, my mother looked at me and I at her, and she said, “From now on I am going to practice saying only pretty words.”

My son is rather fond of telling me to “put the hamster back on the wheel.” It was funny the first couple of times he said it to me.

And my favorite, a friend of mine once asked me in reference to a picture of Einstein that I had hanging in my office, “Einstein, hmmm, he was kinda brainy wasn’t he?” Then he said, “I never claimed to be the sharpest or brightest crayon in the box, just one of the prettiest.”

Steve said...

Love these Cheryl what about:-

about as funny as an asthma attack

he's as camp as a row of (pink (optional)) tents

well I'll go t' foot of our stairs (said in a mock rural/yokle accent to express sacastic mock shock)

I'm sorry you seem to have mistaken me for someone who gives a shit!

About as popular as a fart in a spacesuit

As welcome as a cat in a dogs home

Steve said...

a post script to the above :-
I have heard your voice and I must say it sounds nothing like Alan Rickmans, yours is a lovely soft SE accent that makes you sound younger than I know you are ( is that a backhanded compliment?)

Cheryl said...

Blimey Joe 90, did your brainy-specs fall off?
No - that was far too far from backhanded. Thank you, but I felt safer in the old chatrooms when you wound me up for being cockney, innit, guvna!
Trust me, I can do Attilla the Mum and I can beat the pants off Red Dwarf's Holly.

And maybe I shouldnt have said it quite like that....

Astrid said...

Oh, I really like the first one. I need to introduce that one into my vocabulary. One of my favorites is "catching Zs" for going to bed or sleep. --> The Zs refer to the supposed sound of a person's breathing (snoring even) when they are asleep.